Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What I did
Post Info TOPIC: What I did
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:
What I did
Permalink  

 

 

For so long I have come to the rescue of my son. He would call all hours and beg for me to help him.I would rush to his side and scoop him up and bring him to the ER.I would sit for hours waiting if they were going to keep him or transfer him to detox. If they kept him, I'd give him a hug, tell him I would be back in the morning, does he want me to bring him anything then I would leave and make the long drive home in the middle of the night.Three days in and me spending my days by his side,  he would be upset and wanting drugs to keep himself sane and/or wants out.He's OK AGAIN.A week later he would be drinking.

 When I started here at MIP I would still get him, rush to the hospital but when they took him behind the doors I left.  He would get a ride home from the state of AZ or a ride to detox.

 Last time I told him I won't come and he has to find his own way and don't call me when he wants to withdraw. I said I love you but you know your way around now.

 This time he didn't call. He called his dad but his dad is 14 hours away.

Not sure what will happen but I have complete faith that he can find his way and get any help he needs. Mom is not helping. She is just a person that gets him his fix of less pain when he's out of alcohol or meds.  Gets him stable this week.

 I love him so I refuse to help this disease.  I love him but no enabling or helping in this world will make him better.

I don't hurt anymore. I don't feel guilty. My love is great for him and he knows I will be there if or when he can help himself.  I will support his recovery, encourage and love him BUT I will never be there again for that disease.  No matter what happens.

 I say my prayers and ask for guidance very single day. I work a grounded program with the help of many.  I am not alone.... I feel the love and support.  I ask that God do his best to help my son so he can make that connection and not be alone anymore.  To grab the loving support that is out there. That's what I do.

Thank you MIP

 



-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 9th of May 2013 03:16:16 PM



-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 9th of May 2013 03:17:30 PM

__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3870
Date:
Permalink  

Hugs Cathy, It's a difficult road .. it is so good to know we don't have to walk alone!

So great to share this journey with you .. hugs P :)

__________________

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Rose50


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 292
Date:
Permalink  

(((Cathy)))

I am also the mother of an AS and feel your pain. I have been there too - the countless trips to the ER, sitting by his side for hours on end, detox and a sober living home.

After 1 year of sobriety my son relapsed. This time he called 911 and ended up in the hospital. Turns out he had a blood infection (unrelated to the drinking) and now he is in a nursing/rehab home as he needs IV antibiotics for a period of 4 weeks. He has nowhere to go after release from the facility and I refuse to help in any way. BTW, he did also have alcohol poisoning. I did go visit him (once) and physically he is doing well. Still I don't think he is reaching out for help with his alcohol problems.

I don't know what will happen once he is released. I am scared but leaving him in God's hands. Praying and hoping he will find his way.

__________________
ilovedogs


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1582
Date:
Permalink  

Huge hugs to you Cathy!!! Isn't it wonderful to feel so in control OF YOU, and realizing you are not in control of anything else or anyone else! Sending you lots of support today!

__________________
Struggling to find me......
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

Im right there with you Cathy.x



__________________
PP


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3964
Date:
Permalink  

Such a wonderful testimony for how this program works...wow.  hugs to you



__________________

Paula
Path to Serenity


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 323
Date:
Permalink  

{{{{Cathy}}}}

__________________
wornoutmrsfixit


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 268
Date:
Permalink  

I'm watching and taking notes because I see a hospitalization coming up in AH's future and I havr told him the same thing.

__________________

"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
LeenieBeanie


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 197
Date:
Permalink  

(((Cathy)))

 

Way to go, Cathy. We came on these boards about the same time and it's a comfort to hear of such tranquility from you.

We have 42 days in our countdown for our AD to leave, peacefully.

 

Have a wonderful weekend.



__________________

If God is your Co Pilot, change seats.
Auntyaya


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 113
Date:
Permalink  

Well done, Cathy...so difficult to do, but oh so necessary for your own peace of mind. You've come a long way....and those of us who have traveled the path too know only too well that is so hard....good for you..and I am hoping for a good outcome for your boy....



__________________
Sincerely


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 450
Date:
Permalink  

You are an inspiration!


__________________

With love in recovery, 

Sincerely
oldergal


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 472
Date:
Permalink  

If it makes you feel any better, you are not in control, the good Lord is. So relax and be yourself which obviously is showing up lately stronger and stronger everytime, you have lots of great quality in you and unfortunately it takes a problem/crisis to let it be manifested. If you can get through this with your son behaving as such, you sure can conquer your other problem (roomate) I call them stalemates. 

The Spirt is with you now.......truly a miracle in progress......In support Oldergal 



__________________

Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Dear lady, you sound good. You are right. What better hands can he be in than hp's? Yes we could lose him in this life. But is he living now anyway? Of course it would still be horrible, we cannot control it anyway.

You are such a miracle, you have come a long long ways. Thank you for hanging in! love to you lady! I love my vcr btw smile. debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
tiredtonite


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 24
Date:
Permalink  

What an inspirational share and great job you're doing taking care of yourself.  Your son will be ready when he's ready and not a minute before he and his higher power work that out with one another.  Thanks for sharing your recovery journey.  It's an especially hard time but you're managing to hold on to all you have control over - you.  Keep sharing - keep sane.  (((Cathy))))  TT



__________________

Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
John


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 834
Date:
Permalink  

You Go Girl! Now that is Al-Anon in the works!  I know its not easy, but its a lot better than doing the insane stuff that an alcoholic or addict would have us doing FOR them and being so sick ourselves we drown in it with them.  Thank God for Al-Anon!



__________________

" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

(Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions,Step 3. pg 21)

big-bigger-faith-fear-god-Favim.com-288081.jpg

 

 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> What I did