The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son's graduation from high school is in a month, today I thought, well I should be sending out invitations to friends and we should have a dinner at my house after the graduation at 1 p.m. don't know how long it will be. I will have my new furniture by then and have a few friends I would like to invite over. But the problem is my family, since my step father died my mother has become a full blown alcoholic, my dry drunk brother is mean to his wife in front of everyone. I would not serve alcohol but it just seems like a disaster waiting to happen. My step sons think my brother is an a**.... any suggestions?
I have decided not to plan anything except the three of us my husband son and I, if my mom and brother sis in law want to go somewhere to eat, we will just not go....
Well, then, those facts certainly change things. I hope everything works out well for all of you. You must be very proud of your son and his achievement - and from what you say here about his desire for a keyboard as a gift - his skill as a musician.
There were many times I avoided big to-do's with the kiddos growing up. They are my step children. I don't have any of my own. Their dads side of the family were all addicts & alcoholics. I quickly learned that gatherings with them never had anything to do with the real purpose of the event other than the buzz opportunity with a bunch of family.
So I celebrated with the kids by taking them to their favorite restaurant and a special day of their choice.
Please sent a warm congratulations graduate to you son from me
P.S. and pat yourself on the back! It's not easy getting them to complete school!
Hey then maybe you and he go have a meal and you can give him the keyboard at the meal? Hmmmmmm? I don't invite people to my house who have behavior problems...people from either family or elsewhere....Just me after learning in program that it was okay for me to decide how I wanted my life to go at any moment and then exercise the courage to live it that way.
You haven't said if you have any experience with or by being in the Al-Anon Family Groups and my suggestion is if you do not have that experience getting it is priceless. It can and has saved lives...like mine. I live separately from my alcoholic family by choice and I keep the gap real. The continue to do the same things over and over again and I keep not watching and being a part of it anymore. A private meal and a gift sounds like a loving twosome sharing quality time. Let us know what you decide and how it comes out. Congradulations to your son!! (((((hugs)))))
Congratulations to your son and to you for having raised a son that is graduating. It is an accomplishment, a milestone and a transition for all. I support Jerry's suggestion to attend al anon, as your life has been affected by alcohol whether or not you are physically distant from your relatives.
I have been in alanon for 18 years attend face to face meetings and meetings here on the chat room. I talked to my son and he says graduation is going to be long and boring and don't subject everyone to sitting there for hours. He wants to go out with his friends afterwards. My son plays the sax, is an accomplished guitar player (wins a gold medal at UIL state competition every year and now wants to teach himself the piano....yes he came out great and I am blessed.
Well, that's just great news to hear! It sounds like your problem is now solved and that your son is a talented gem of a guy who knows what he wants and what he wants to accomplish! I can hear the Mom pride coming through your most recent post. Congratulations to you all.
