The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had a really amazing revelation today in my Al Anon meeting. I was sharing about how I handled the situation with my XAH (still trying to get used to the "STBX" part being gone from my vernacular).
I don't have children, except for my furry doggie one, so I've never quite gotten the grasp of the "mama bear" instinct that moms feel when their kids are threatened.
But I realized that the "come to Jesus" meeting I had with XAH last week - the one that finally precipitated getting the divorce papers signed and him getting his stuff out of the house once and for all - was me being a "mama bear" for my Blondie-child-self.
I came to the defense of that beautiful little child inside myself and stood up for what was right and just for her.
It felt really amazing once I looked at it that way...now I see how all you mamas out there feel when someone jacks with your kiddos.
I also realized that just because this situation is slowly fading away into my past that I still have a LOT of work to do on myself. Just because XAH is gone doesn't mean the work on me ceases. I have even more resolve now to evolve into the person I want to be.
BTW, papers filed with the court this past Monday - it should be a done deal by Friday of next week. Quit claim deed on the house is filed, too. XAH sent me a text message this past Saturday saying he appreciated my cooperation when he came to get his stuff and that it was good to see me. I did not respond - not worth it at this point. Friends and therapist have said he'll pop up again soon because he's not ready to let this go. HP will take care of me if and when he tries to come back around.
However, I am so thankful. And I am so blessed. Al-Anon and my MIL sister- and brother-hood truly saved my life. I am sure I would have been checked into an institution myself if it weren't for you. Hugs and huge thank-yous to everyone.
Good for you and it does feel good to self validate!! YUP now the real work begins and you can do so without the distraction of HIM!!
Keep up the GREAT work!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo