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I just wanted to vent really quick .. so much I will write out and honestly I wind up deleting it before posting it or it winds up as a draft when I go to respond to something else .. lol.
Soooo .. I am very grateful that I do think the way I do, .. my atty was pregnant had her baby the second week of this month and I do watch the online court stuff very closely .. there have been a couple of times I have been aware of things before even my atty has been on both counts. Of course there is so much time that you are suppose to file and let the opposing atty's team know what is going on. LOL .. well .. of course STBAX's atty waited until my atty had her baby I mean like 4 days after and filed a motion for pretrial which I'm COMPLETELY amazed wound up being scheduled literally 13 days later. Well, I just happened upon it on the 4th day after it had been filed, .. thank goodness I am kind of paranoid about stuff like that .. now .. of course what STBAX's atty did was actually illegal on many levels and VERY much bad form. It was planned this way, .. there is no doubt in my mind because they never sent a notice. Now part of the reason this was done is once pretrial is filed and accepted that says that both parties accept that discovery is done. Well obviously .. noooo we are not done because once again STBAX is in contempt on about 4 items .. this is one of those making a straight line into a cork screw and of course this would be the better way to go. Soooo ... as soon as my atty's office heard they immediately contacted STBAX's atty and said ummm .. nooo you can't do that and it better not happen again in this case. Another date will be scheduled AND you will contact the office BEFORE setting a date. I had to giggle a bit. Anyway, there is a LOT going on in the month of May including the fact my atty is still on maternity leave and will be through most of May. Again I had a big laugh, even though I knew about the court date I kept my mouth shut because I was curious as to what STBAX would do. Normally he can't keep his mouth shut and boy did he engage me on MANY levels. I just let it all go. Thank you Alanon .. again .. I couldn't have done this without Alanon .. my need to know .. my need to be right just really can get in the way.
The legal aspect is this .. court dates are NOT suppose to happen without 14 - 16 days notice it is usually agreed upon by both offices. I'm hoping that the Judge in this case saw what was going on and was VERY irritated by the fact that STBAX's atty pulled this .. he has a reputation for trying to be sleezy in ways like this and sometimes it works .. this Judge is very much NOT happy about things like that at all .. after all we wouldn't have known and it is hard to get this kind of thing undone once it is done. It would have meant more court and so on. This Judge also HATES drama and that was pretty manipulative big time.
It really goes to show me that my STBAX and his atty are both not ok and deserve each other. I'm ok with that trust me .. it's very interesting to observe.
What I would REALLY love to know and if I am meant to know I will .. is when did STBAX find out that I KNEW about the court date and did he go into the atty's office the day of court? I already know he did not show at court, .. his atty did though. He would have been very disappointed to know he got shut down.
This is probably going to trial .. it is what it is .. having the Judge rule will be scary .. I do trust this Judge and I value his integrity .. I've seen him in action a lot over the past year and he is very fair. I'm not asking for more than I'm legally entitled to, I just have a different opinion of what I'm legally entitled to .. lol!
It's really hard to believe that as of next week I have been doing this for a year .. I'm really ready to move on at this point.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Good job on keeping on your side of the fence, Pushka. And hang in there. I know how crazy this process can be and how drawn out it can become. Patience- and let Go and Let God really helped me when I went through this. You work your program so well-- kudos to you, gf!
Well .. I swear I need to stop posting anything because every single time I do something else comes up .. basically I found out that the STBAX's accident is a BIG NIGHTMARE!! 4 tickets (driving without a valid license, no insurance, leaving the scene of an accident, failure to report an accident) .. I happened to look at the website and saw all of this .. he's not paid the fines that were due 2 weeks ago. At first I panicked and I thought his license was suspended and he's driving the kids on a suspended license .. thankfully that is NOT the case. However .. I know he has NO insurance on the truck again and I'm struggling with what do I do? Sooo .. I'm going to insist before he drives the kids again that he provide proof of insurance .. I wish an SR22 could be imposed upon this situation as he would be mandated to carry insurance. I am going to ask my atty to ask his atty to provide the insurance policy number, and I think I can check and see if it's valid or not myself. It completely shows WHY he got his license renewed, insurance and so on .. he wasn't doing the next right thing .. he was covering his A$$ for the court date coming up.
Now there is another violation pending that happened since the accident .. geeze he's a walking nightmare like I said. It's scary because I can see the hand writing on the wall and that IS where I need to let go and let God as well as giving everything over to the God of my understanding, especially HIM. I am fully under the impression (I don't know if it's fact) that his job is at risk .. it is the next logical step in what has been happening recently.
Here's what I'm grateful for .. this stuff it shocked me (I just found out about it this afternoon) so yes it's on my mind, I don't have to allow it to consume me. His stuff is just that HIS stuff, it's no longer on me to fix, manage and (try to) control. It is frustrating that again HIS stuff doesn't just involve him .. this is also about the safety of the kids. His lack of regard for their safety. It's bad enough he has no regard for his own .. the fact he can't see anything past him is scary. He really doesn't care what happens to him .. it's really sad.
I decided that my primary purpose in this situation is the kids safety and right now he's headed back down that road of hurting himself .. sooo .. I'm not feeling 911 however .. I'm feeling a little off at the moment in terms of how bad is it really? What I actually know is pretty bad, I'm sure what I don't know is probably worse. I absolutely now believe that last text he sent me had everything to do with the fact his job is on shaky grounds. I feel bad for him.
Anyway, it is what it is .. this has been a week .. LOL!!
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
UGH!! It sure has been quite a week! I hear you on the SR22 thing. My AH wasn't required to get one either after his DUI yet I'm thankful that he didn't because I know our rate would have skyrocketed. Anyway, you're doing great holding it together for the kids. He is a broken man and has to find his own path and what HP has for him is just for him and no one else, we can't change that. It's sad, especially because of the kids. Hugs to you girl! Great big Al Anon hugs, LOL!!!
Prayers for you...