XAH came by the house yesterday morning to pick up the rest of his belongings, and my BFF took me to a notary yesterday afternoon to sign the divorce papers. Wow. I never would have thought that 10 years ago when we met that this is where I'd be. 

I was going to take the papers to the courthouse yesterday, but I am going to look at them one more time this weekend and cross-check them with what I emailed to him to make sure he didn't make any sneaky changes that I overlooked. Will file them and the quit claim deed on the house on Monday. I'll be officially divorced by the end of the week.

Thank HP for my BFF. She paid for the notary, brought me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. And to top it off...she recieved a huge bonus at work last week and chose to "tithe" me with 10 percent of it. She said that she had always been told to give to things that bring her joy - and that's what I do for her. O.M.G. - I am SO blessed by wonderful people in my life. 

The $ will come in handy, as I have bills to pay plus I'm catching a flight to Florida on Wednesday for my sister's wedding. Now I can get her a nice gift. I had been stressing out on how I was going to do that. Plus, I made an appointment to a massage school here in town for a one-hour treatment this afternoon. They are having a $20/hour special. I highly recommend going to beautician and massage schools if you're a "spa girl" like me who's short on cash.

I've decided, and I told my sister, that if anyone asks me at the wedding why XAH isn't there with me that I'll say "we're not together anymore." Nothing more, nothing less. She and my stepmom are the only ones who know all the gory details. I haven't told my brother yet, as I am certain he will want to fly out here and kick my XAH's a$$ (He'll have to take a number - there is a L-O-N-G line forming ) . But this is HER special time and I won't let my current experience with marriage dull her day. It is her time to shine.

A few strange, serendipitious messages from HP over the last 24 hours.

Firstly, I received some correspondence from someone I wasn't expecting to hear from. Don't know where that will lead, and I am conscious enough to know I'm not ready at this point to consider any kind of relationship. But it was nice to hear from him on such a rough day - a little positive reinforcement that I am still an attractive, desirable woman. Would like to have that confidence in myself right now, but I'm not there yet. Being rejected by a reject XAH will do that to you.

Then, I got a phone message from AXH, and I think he accidentally "butt dialed" me, so all I could hear in the VM was him talking to people. I heard my AMIL's voice in the background and she still sounds as sick as she did the last time I talked to her three months ago. Mumbling incoherently - I could hear the self-pity and martyrdom in her voice. Cripes.

I also heard from my AMIL's financial advisor (I had been helping with her finances, so he and I had grown quite close). He said that while he was sad about this entire situation, he's glad I'm out of it because it looks like the insanity was going to continue indefinenently. He also told me that he was very proud of me and that I was the best daughter-in-law anyone could want.

Thanking HP for these messages - HP is very good at giving me signs when I am on the right path. I just need to open my mind and my ears and be willing to see them.

Over the years, as I prayed for help for salvation from this situation, I was praying that HP would heal my XAH and AMIL - that we could be a functioning family. I guess that HP plucked me from the situation because HP knew it wasn't going to get any better.

I had a good, hard cry last night. My dog/furry son jumped up on the bed with me and snuggled with me as I sobbed. I told him, "it's just you and me - again." He gave me a little doggie kiss right on the tip of my nose.

Day One of a new life...