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Hi Folks Last October I went in to see my longtime asthma doctor at the hospital all my care had been at for 8 years. I was sick - and scared because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had left this doc a voice mail saying I wasn't sure if he was the right doctor for me to see given my symptoms and that I needed to find out quickly who to see as I was getting sicker with each day. It's also a long drive into the city for these appointments. Instead of calling me to tell me he probably wasn't the right doc for what was ailing me he let me come in and sat across from me and manipulated me over and over while I wasn't feeling well.
He first scolded me for not scheduling my next appointment with him sooner. I explained that his clinical calendar isn't ready in time for patients to make their next appt when they leave so it is left up to us to always remember months later to call and set it, Hence the longer period in between appts than there should be. He looked unhappy he couldnt pin that one on me. I started to see what was "going on here" and that it wasnt going to be good. Then he inserted a mention of something about my social/relationship past that was highly traumatic to me that had resulted in a lot of gossip about me. Everyone in the city knows this was a horrific thing I dealt with and centered around abuse from a past relationship. It was very slyly done. Then he got down to the business of telling me (laughingly) that he could not help me with my current problem and he refused to think about or lift a finger to try to figure out what COUlD be wrong or what specialty doc I might need to see. it turns out later it would have been very easy for him to do this and the answer was right at his fingertips.
As the next 48 hours passed a huge resentment set in as I realized how badly I had let him screw with my head when I was vulnerable. I should have gotten up at the first sign of manipulation and said calmly, "I actually have to get going. Enjoy your weekend." But because I was in such need And had already seen all my other doctors I felt I needed to put up with it.
after this happened this doctor further disrespected me by calling my MOTHER (I'm almost 50!) to discuss my situation. He had her information as an emergency contact on my records. Because my parents are abusive manipulators, other people sense they can abuse me along WITH my parents. I got very angry and fired off emails to this doctor which he then of course ignored. He had gotten my power by getting me to react, which is exactly what he wanted. He can also now "claim" that HE is MY victim.
Shortly after that I receive a letter in the mail from him stating I was no longer welcome to receive care at that hospital. I was incredibly hurt and angry by the whole thing. I had felt very secure and familiar having all my care at this hospital for a long time. In the midst of being sick I had to transfer all my care to another hospital. It was absolutely exhausting.
a few weeks ago I called a hospital administrator there and relayed this all to her. She had questions, all that centered around seeing how well she could cover this up. She said she would think about this and get back to me. I never heard from her.
Should I do something about this or just learn from it going forward? I am tired of being use and abused and beaten up.
-- Edited by WorkingThroughIt on Saturday 27th of April 2013 07:01:19 AM
WTI - I would just not see that doctor any more if possible. Keep holding your head up. It's hard work to stay positive in the face of negative people but you don't need to be dragged down if you can help it in any way. What people gossip about and their failures to help are not things that literally harm you (at least I hope not). They are things that you ideally (I know easier said than done) can forget and just continue doing your thing. I know you have a solid program of sobriety. Maybe go nab up some sponsees and hopefully that will fill you up with so much business that this annoying junk from others wont stick in your head so much.
WTI I agree with Mark When something painful like this happens I attempt to learn the lesson from the experience and then let it go. Taking care of yourself means being very gentle with yourself and then moving on.
I would think about it and then if you believe that you need to follow up call the person who spoke to you and see how it goes.
Thank you both. I appreciate and feel your love and am happy you won't fan my disease. I can't rewrite history and yea, I need to be working with others. Blessings.
It's aggression and bullying that affects my health care and name and it can become a huge snowball that never stops.
at some point we have to have courage and set boundaries.
It's already gotten bigger through hospital gossip and my doctors are withholding prescriptions from me. The administrators also gossiped outside of the hospital to people in politics (my father is a Politician) and they've broken HIiPA (sp) laws.
I'm getting a copy of medical records and if there's anything on there that's a lie and damaging I'll go to Administration again and tell them I need it removed.
If they refuse ill take them to court.
My self-hate from being under the abuse of my narcissistic father for so many years invited other people in to bully me. At the end if my step work I had changed so much, I was so strong, God showed me who I could be and not taking this kind of stuff from folks was part of my strength. I need to get aligned with Gods will. I'm not helping others by allowing this type of thing to go on in the universe.
I may decide I can't rewrite history but at some point I will need to start setting real heavy boundaries to show people what I will and will not tolerate anymore...this is a small city and people are getting crazier.
