The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I haven't seen my ABF in three months and last heard from him when he called me from a hospital psych ward. He was in a psych ward because he threatened suicide to a police officer AGAIN. When he called me he told me he missed me, loved and asked if I had any money. LOL There's the real reason for the call. I'm letting go and letting God, but he keeps coming back. Yesterday my boss came up to me at the end of the day and said my "friend" was out front yelling for me. She said he's definitely not in his right mind. Just great. I told her I haven't seen hm in months and if security needed to be called because his behavior was belligerent to do so or the police. She suggested I leave via the back door when it was time for me to go home which is what I did. I did peek at him through a window and he was a bigger hot mess than usual. He looked like he'd been rolling in dirt and wearing a jacket when the temperature was nearly 80 degrees. I feel bad to a point not going to talk to him, but at the same time I don't want any more drama than I already have had the past few years. Last time I spoke with him his memory was worse than ever, he couldn't tell what time of day it was and even after I told him he'd ask me a few more times if it was day/night. My abf doesn't have a phone any longer so he wasn't able to call me and read me the riot act for not seeing him. I don't know what happened after I left because I stayed home from work today. I'm sure he showed up yesterday wanting money and I have no intention of giving him anything. I'm sure his reaction to that would have been less than kind. I did the right I know, but after three months why show up? He has an inheritance, but he can't deal with the lawyer because he's never sober longer than five minutes. I'm letting go and letting God so why won't he go away?!
Good work "G" and great that you got support from your work mate. You might want to consider filing a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) on him to help. Going to your place of work and behaving that way is "stalking" and "harassment". Civil court will stand behind you on a filing. Allow him the dignity of the consequence of his choices and continue turning it over to HP. Hope you were able to make some face to face meetings and get some literature. Also the daily meetings on this boards will help alot too. Keep coming back ((((hugs))))
I have heard the hardest thing to get rid of is an addict in any form. That is probably a true statement, at least for me it is, the A in my life keeps coming back to what he know and where he feesl safe so he can get back up on his feet and charge on to more self destruction.
Boundaries, TRO's and saying what I mean and not saying it mean has helped a great deal. I'm sure if I wanted to I know what it would take to get the "relationship" back however I don't want it.
It sounds like you are doing a GREAT job in sticking to what you know to be true in your own heart. Keep up the good work and f2f meetings are a MUST!!
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thank you all for your kind words, support and encouragement. I did check into getting a TRO and was told since he has not made any threats, has not been violent and as for stalking, him coming by once in a blue moon doesn't cut it. On the plus side I haven't heard from him nor has he returned to my job. I am praying he got the clue and stays away. I've done everything to try to help him, but he's not interested and I am spent so I got a clue and am letting go and truly letting God.
