AH is having good days and bad days. He is going to a meeting everyday, seeing a new counselor, reconnecting with old (sober) friends, those things are good. He is also still drinking, hardly at all, but I know he is and he knows I know. But the difference today is I feel so much more detached, I love him, but I am letting it go, and that has become so much easier for me. No yelling, screaming, chaos. It truly is miraculous. I am enjoying my evenings, going to my own meetings, spending time with lovely, loving people. Other days I go for peaceful walks with my dog, and enjoy the friendly neighbors who stop to chat along the way. I read, knit, watch funny movies, have long phone conversations with my sister, go out to my knit group. This weekend I am meeting some old friends for dinner. I avoided doing all these good things for so long, always putting AH and his crazy behaviors and unrelenting drama ahead of my own well being. Well, he is still here, maybe a little less crazy, but I am MUCH less crazy. The change in me is miraculous, when I think where I was back in January, when I first found this group.