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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> In a Rut
Post Info TOPIC: In a Rut
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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In a Rut
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Hi everyone

I'm in a RUT and I can't get out of it.   I can't seem to get motivated to do anything but sit and think.  I spent all weekend doing nothing but clean my house and watch TV.   No meetings for the last week and very little reading.  I'm somewhat depressed and worry is setting in.  My eating is getting out of control and I have gained 20 lbs. over the last 5 months. 

I know I won't go back to enabling or interfering in my son's affairs but I can't stop thinking about him and what he's NOT doing and what's going to happen in the near future for him. 

Feeling bad about not being strong myself while I tell others to be strong.   I need to come up with one little thing to get me motivated again in the program and get a sense I'm moving forward because right now I'm falling.

Thank you MIP for letting me say what's on my mind...... (((( hugs ))))



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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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I can relate and I am one that loves a cause, have you thought about finding something in your area to do service in? Before I started school full time I loved volunteering and I had 2 causes I loved to donate my time and energy to that gave me back emotionally in so many ways. I am unsure if this will work for you, but I had to get out and keep my mind heading in a healthier direction earlier in program. I got the key to the community center in my area and had people donate roller skates and every weekend I used to let the community kids come and skate and socialize with 2 adults present for 2 hours and it gave parents a break and I got to roller skate with my kids and have fun with the youth. I also used to donate my time to visit the elderly in my area, I worked in home hospice for awhile and know some of the needs with our geriatric community so I would stop and visit and give family members a break or offer to run errands and just try to help with their needs. Reaching out beyond myself always makes me feel better within. I am hoping you find a way to get out of your slump. It may just be a stage in your journey until the next active phase. I used to walk my dog outdoors all over the neighborhood with my friend too and that always fed my Spirit. Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
PP


~*Service Worker*~

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Good morning,

You will get out of your rut in your time..be gentle.  Look at you in the mirror and say "Cathy, I love you".  Sometimes the ruts are when we really hear God.  hugs



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Paula
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

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((((Cathy))))...Hugs;  just hugs.  Breaking Free and PP are the wizards on this one.  All I got is "try putting on an attitude of gratitude" and "sometimes ruts are foxholes...decorate the foxhole".   smile



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rehprof


~*Service Worker*~

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Cathy -- the more I tell myself "I can't get out of this rut" well, the more I stay stuck.

When I feel like this, I allow myself to have some down time, thinking time, mourning time...the more we push the feelings away, the more they seem to stick around...

I say..Today I am going to gift myself a "do nothing" day..because I am mourning the loss of (A) to the disease...or what ever works for you.

It's such a paradox..if you allow yourself to name it, and feel it, it is more likely to pass...what's that quote "that which you resist, persists?"

ODAT, sister.

RP



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milkwood


~*Service Worker*~

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Hi (((((Cathy)))))),
Hey, be gentle lovely lady, we really care about you.

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John


~*Service Worker*~

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I have a writing by Melody Beatie that I really like alot.  It addresses "slumps"  I saw it and wanted to share it with you.

 

Surviving Slumps                                                                                                                June 26

 

 A slump can go on for days.  We feel sluggish, unfocused, and sometimes

overwhelmed with feelings we can’t sort out.  We may not understand what is going on

with us.  Even our attempts to practice recovery behaviors may not appear to work.  We

still don’t feel emotionally, mentally and spiritually as good as we would like.

 In a slump, we may find ourselves reverting instinctively to old patterns of

thinking, feeling and behaving, even when we know better.  We may find ourselves

obsessing, even when we know that what we’re doing is obsessing and that it doesn’t

work.

 We may find ourselves looking frantically for other people to make us feel better,

the whole time knowing our happiness and well-being does not lay with others.

 We may begin taking things personally that are not our issues, and reacting in

ways we’ve learned all too well do not work.

 We’re in a slump.  It won’t last forever.  These periods are normal, even

necessary.  These are the days to get through.  These are the days to focus on recovery

behaviors, whether or not the rewards occur immediately.  These are sometimes the days

to let ourselves be and love ourselves as much as we can.

 We don’t have to be ashamed, no matter how long we’ve been recovering.  We

don’t have to unreasonably expect “more” from ourselves.  We don’t have to expect

ourselves to live life perfectly.

 Get through the slump.  It will end.  Sometimes, a slump can go on for days and

then, in the course of an hour, we see ourselves pull out of it and feel better.  Sometimes

it can last a little longer.

 Practice one recovery behavior in one small area, and begin to climb uphill. 

Soon, the slump will disappear.  We can never judge where we will be tomorrow by

where we are today.

 

Today, I will focus on practicing one recovery behavior on one of my issues, trusting that

this practice will move me forward.  I will remember that acceptance, gratitude, and

detachment are a good place to begin.



__________________

" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

(Al-Anon's Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions,Step 3. pg 21)

big-bigger-faith-fear-god-Favim.com-288081.jpg

 

 
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
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Thanks everyone for the good feelings and hope you all gave to me. I have promised a MIP friend I would go out tonight and just take a walk to get my blood flowing again so I will keep that promised. She is also doing it. Little walking never hurt anyone and I sure do need it. I thought about buying a bike but if I can't at least walk what makes me think I will ride a bike. Walking is FREE

I think my weight gain has a lot to do with my self image and I'm not happy about it at all. So diet and exercise has to come into play in my recovery. I also think when I stopped smoking that had something to do with my weight gain. :)

Take care......I'm so grateful for MIP and and best people ever.

(((( hugs ))))

__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
AngelicH57


Senior Member

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Posts: 121
Date:
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Cathy, I know you will dig yourself out of that rut soon {{Hugs}}

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Nothing is more fatiguing than the eternal hanging-on of an unfinished task.
Auntyaya


Senior Member

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Posts: 113
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Walking...the art of putting one foot in front of the other...it's what I do when I don't know what to do...so I am so gald that you are going to take a walk. I have found that walking satisfies my soul, my body and I always, always feel so much better. Start slowly...and add to your time, just abit each day. You will get through this Cathy...you are a strong and determined woman, and we all have down times. Don't beat yourself up....just let your feet beat the street!! You go girl!!



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Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
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I have decided to walk 3 times a week so Monday I went for my first walk but took the hardest path which I think was a mistake. I made it down the rocky path but coming back up...oh boy....I didn't think I would make it home LOL. Well I did. Then got on my quad and took a long ride up into the hills and enjoyed the views and quiet peaceful time alone. That quad ride also relieved some anxiety and worry speeding down the trail. furious

After work tonight I will be getting out there again and taking my walk and going a little further and walking a little faster...

Good for the soul getting out there with my HP alone.

Take care all....... ((( hugs ))))

 



__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Auntyaya


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 113
Date:
Permalink  

Good for you! Wish you lived in my neighborhood and we could hoof it together!!!



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el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 5075
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Cathy, I'm so glad you are here with your ups and downs. I and many others get something from all your posts. Progress not perfection.x

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