The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I came back to find more help and copying skills that I can't get in very little al alon meetings . Wish I had more support availbe to me. I have plenty of al alon books and pamplets but not enought face to face meetings that I need. Tonight I'm lucky there's a meeting I can go to, it's small but it's something. I need coping skills and more support to help me apply the right steps. I know my marrage is failing and yes I have part in that , I just started to learn I can't change the things that had been done from his drinking. I'm learning that I only can live in the day and only offer very little. I find that I'm more sick from this diseases than the husband that is 5 months sober. It's hard to accept that I'm sick but not the drinker, for me to get better and work only on me , I detached myself from my husband , builted a bigger and stronger wall to not accept any one in . Me as a born breed ppl pleaser finds myself alone, not able to trust anyone from recent actions. I'm looking for ways to heal any help suggestions are accepted. first of all I need to know how to stay out of the fight when forced to go there. When no doesn't work what else is there for me to do
I am so very glad that you returned and are now willing to seek recovery from this Board and Alanon. Alcoholism is a terrible disease that affects EVERYONE who interacts with it. It is good that you have found a meeting that you are comfortable with . That is the first thing you can do to start your recovery Attend alanon meetings and break the isolation caused by living in this disease for so long
When you are at the meeting please check out the literature at the meetings and try to obtain a daily reader, One Day at a Time or COURAGE TO CHANGE AND THE LITTLE PAMPHLET, " JUST FOR TODAY"
I found that reading the daily reader, each morning and then reviewing the "Just for Today" booklet helped me to focus my energy in a positive manner all day. When I became anxious or frightened, I would recite the serenity prayer, and try to recall the thought for the day from my morning reading.
you asked how to not engage in an argument when invited I found that the best I could do was first to remind myself that I did not have to justify , defend, argue or explain my actions or beliefs, to anyone . If some one did not agree with me, I simply said let us agree to disagree. You are entitled to your opinion and I ,mine and then move on If they continued I would state :" That is an interesting point" or" I will consider that." and move on
.
Meetings , The Steps A sponsor will all bring you the gift of recovery one day at a time Please keep coming back It works when we work it.
Trust your higher power and through that you can trust yourself. After that, you can trust others from a secure spiritual base and you will not feel like damaged goods or that people are so easily able to hurt you. It's not easy to put into action and I said it all in a nutshell in just 1 sentence there. To get where you want to be, it is a process of going to alanon meetings, working all 12 steps with a sponsor, and truly surrendering old thinking patterns and behaviors that don't work and only hurt you now.
P.S. - I just realized I largely said the same thing as Betty stated in her last line. This makes me happy because I know it's true.
I came back to find more help and copying skills that I can't get in very little al alon meetings . Wish I had more support availbe to me. I have plenty of al alon books and pamplets but not enought face to face meetings that I need. Tonight I'm lucky there's a meeting I can go to, it's small but it's something. I need coping skills and more support to help me apply the right steps. I know my marrage is failing and yes I have part in that , I just started to learn I can't change the things that had been done from his drinking. I'm learning that I only can live in the day and only offer very little. I find that I'm more sick from this diseases than the husband that is 5 months sober. It's hard to accept that I'm sick but not the drinker, for me to get better and work only on me , I detached myself from my husband , builted a bigger and stronger wall to not accept any one in . Me as a born breed ppl pleaser finds myself alone, not able to trust anyone from recent actions. I'm looking for ways to heal any help suggestions are accepted. first of all I need to know how to stay out of the fight when forced to go there. When no doesn't work what else is there for me to do