The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I get really sad reading some of the posts on here - about the sadness in peoples lives because of this disease. I start to think that maybe I dont belong here - that my issue was with one person who I have decided to cut out of my life but then remember the craziness of my mother that has affected me my entire life.
Sometimes I feel bad that things are going positively in my life right now - that if I could, I would give half of what is going on to the first person who asked for it. But I have to keep reminding myself that I owe alot of my positivity to being on this site. That if I hadnt found Alanon in October, I probably would have found a way to end it all and not have experienced the happy things I have in the last month or so.
All I want to say is that everyday I pray for all of you - that somehow, some way - there is a end to all of your suffering - whether it be your A getting into recovery, or finding a way to make yourselves happy, or that your HP brings your little miracles everyday.
there is always someone in here that each and every one of us connects with.
some days i could feel like crap and then others days when im doing o.k i always log on and try my best to be supportive and reply to peoples msgs...as they do for me when i feel low.
i sometimes think that i could be wasting peoples time...coz they seem to have bigger problems than me...involving kids, divoces etc... then i think...that "could" have been me.... my future...
thank you to everyone that has helped me since october.... you will never know what your kindness means to me.
You are right, there is SO much saddness in this room. However, many of the "sad" posts are followed by very positive replies. It is up to people like us to post when we are up!
It was people like you who attracted me to alanon. So positive amid my own chaos!
When i first came here and read some of the things people had been through, it was a relief. Af last someone who relates to what my life is like. Sometimes my life goes smooth and peaceful and then sometimes it is chaos.
I am so glad we have this board and chat to come to. IT helps me put things in perspective, it gives me reminders of things that I sometimes forget.
There is a lot of give and take here, good days and bad days, that is what gets us through. THanks for posting this to remind us we are all here for a reason.....each other.
I feel the same way. I do not really have the active A in my life anylonger. My troubles seem trivial in comparison to many on this board. I get sad for them but I have ESH to share. I was in a f2f meeting last year. I was feeling like I should pass. My problem was nothing compared to many in the room. However I really needed to speak and I remember asking God out loud if it was too much to ask for him to help me find a place to rent month to month. I was at my wits end trying to find a temporary house for me and my mom and my daughter. One of the newest members of our group owned a home exactly like I needed and was willing to let me rent it temporarily. Imagine if I had not shared? I helped her financially and she gave me shelter. Today we are still great friends. You are helping just letting people know that there can be happy endings.
First I'd like to say that when people post positive things, that is such a large part of the Hope part of the ES&H. Those who are not with active A's, have gone thru this, we are still bound by our common history. Also, you can share your experiences with how you dealth w/ issues during the active stage. Another thing that you mentioned Cyn was that 'then you think back to your mother.' So many of us are a partially a product of our childhood environment. This past and our learned behaviors as part of it, are some of the reason we got in this situation to being w/, I think they are totally appropriate to examine as part of program and to keep discussing here.
One more opinion that I'd like to share, the alanon literature speaks of practicing these principles in all our affairs. I personally love shares that have nothing to do w/ the A or the diseas as well. Sometimes these simple examples of practicing our program in every day living, provide those of us with active qualifiers to work the program in small meaningful examples that we might be able to build our confidence with. Plus the program just works, and living it outside of our A's is wonderful for growing as well.
OK, one more opinion. This is a program where WE work on OURSELVES. We don't need an active qualifer to work on ourselves. It's a lifelong program.
I hope all of you who are in positive stages or not in active stages would continue to feel comfortable staying and sharing. I know I get alot out of them as well.
Bob
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You are a perfect child of God and God and I love you just the way you are! (added by me...in that special alanon way)
Sometimes I feel bad that things are going positively in my life right now - that if I could, I would give half of what is going on to the first person who asked for it.
This statement in itself could define the disease of codependence. You're in the right place.
