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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> detachment
Post Info TOPIC: detachment
Lyne


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So when or how can I work on detachment?   I am on Step 1 and that is great.  I don't think there is a step for detachment.  At the moment I feel calmer and hopeful, although my sleep is still awful.  I'm wanting to feel fine but underneath is a blender churning.  I'm not calling my A from work as I used to and I am not asking when my A will be home at night or what she is doing anymore.  It is a great relief.  But I am very distant and I dread when she tells me she loves me because I either say thank you, don't answer, or say I love the helpful things she does.  I feel like we are strangers. How can I handle this better?  Thanks, Lyne



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Lyne
ilovedogs


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For me, detachment was and always is a work in progress. At first I detached with anger, then it was with indifference, and now I am working on detaching with love. I did a lot of reading on Al Anon materials and marked everything about detachment I could find. I, too, feel like my AH and I are strangers and I accept that that is where my HP wants me for right now. I have to be at peace where I am, and then I can focus on detaching and loving. I think it takes time and sometimes I slip right back to where I don't want to be but the tools from the program help get me back on track, as well as checking in with my sponsor. Be gentle with yourself, and know that God's path for each of you is exactly perfect in the present. We just have to trust.

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Struggling to find me......
Cathyinaz


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(((( Lyne )))))

I would go to the top and look along the red bar and click on the search link....type in detachment.....and read many responses to the question.



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hotrod


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Hi Lyne

It is a process   Detachment with love takes time.   I found that "detachment" just seemed to follow as an an automatic response when I first accepted that alcoholism is a disease and that I am completely powerless over it. The first step

I also was angry over this, but did accept it.   Working steps 4-12 helped me to let go of the anger, resentment, self pity and fear that I cherished- Once I let go of that- I could detach with love because I wanted to maintain my serenity.
 
Keep up the good work 


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Jerry F


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Detachment enters right after the last word of the 1st step...unmanagable; and just before "Came to believe..." in the 2nd step.  Meditate on that for a while.   ((((Hugs)))) smile



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canadianguy


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http://alanon.activeboard.com/t38730205/okay-so-what-can-we-do/

 

Lyne... I have pasted an old post of mine, containing some awesome references about detachment from Toby Rice Drews...

 

Hope that helps

Tom



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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> detachment