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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Getting there
Post Info TOPIC: Getting there
tiredtonite


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Getting there
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I'm going through the first year of grieving my mother who died late last year.  Her birthday was last week.  Hp brought a snowstorm on that day. Imagine a snowstorm here in mid April not just that day but another after that as well... a fun kind of unpredictability for a change. :)  So, I was able to work from home and have all my feelings instead of needing to put them aside until I got out of work. 

I wanted to recognize my mom's birthday but didn't know quite how. I felt such sadness, so sapped of energy and creative imagination. No tribute I could think of seemed equal to the grief I was feeling. It isn't that I was rolled in a ball and in meltdown mode but the heaviness just weighed on my heart all day. After working, we went to a nearby mall.  After mindlessly walking through stores and shopping for nothing, we sat in the car in the parking lot trying to come up with a way to acknowledge my mother's day.  I missed being able to sent her a card.  Bf suggested writing her a card and putting it in my god box. That's when I had a meltdown of sorts - such a beautiful idea.  We decided to keep it simple and just have a nice dinner in her honor.  At the restuarant, the server asked if we were celebrating anything.  First, I said no.  Then, I said, "yes, my mother's birthday."  There was no response but validating my mother felt good for me and bf smiled from across the table.  So, I reminisced a bit, watched the falling snow and felt grateful for good memories including the one in the making.  Thanks for being here and for letting me share with you.  TT



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PP


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So sweet and tender...I feel for you.  I am sure your mama is happy knowing that you hold her in such high regard. hugs



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Paula
hotrod


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Dear TT

What a terrific way to remember your mom  Keep cherishing those good memories  They are  a powerful remedy for the blues.

You and your Mom will be in my prayers



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
LeenieBeanie


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What a wonderful way to honor and remember your mother. She will always be with you.

 

 



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milkwood


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How beautiful. Thank you.

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Sincerely


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Thank you for sharing. The 18th of April will be 2 years my step son was killed. Your post inspired me to honor his life on that day with his father. Keeping it simple always works for me.

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With love in recovery, 

Sincerely
tiredtonite


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Thanks (((everyone)))) for your kindness, support, encouragement and prayers. Every day feels like an adventure in this first year of grieving but but holidays and other special occassions seem to bring up more feelings.  Sincerely... I hope you find comfort in celebrating your stepson. Sending prayers to you as you remember him this week.  TT



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Debilyn


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You are in my thoughts a lot TT. losing our mothers is a huge sad thing in our lives. We are orphans. I don't care who you are or how old you are, to your mother you are a child, to your grandma you are her child. All of a sudden the child part of you cannot find her. Honey I swear, its been almost 13 years for me and I still want her to drive up on sundays.

arms full of stuff she would bring for us and the animals. the kids and i would have not had as good a life without her when their daddy died.

I know your mom and you were close too. You can make your own ceremonies if you like. The writing her a card is great. I kept a journal, that helped me so much. You could use one of her vases or get one you know she would like and always have flowers or some neat greenery in it.

When you look at it, you might say I love you mom. I get this feeling wash over me and I say hi mother! It is just a memory in my mind but it is essentially her.

Always love seeing you here, you are doing great. Glad you have a guy too, I am telling a good one is so very special.

hugs, your friend, debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

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tiredtonite


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Thanks ((((debilyn)))) for sharing from your heart about your mom.   She sounds as loving as her daughter.  Thank you for all the wonderful suggestions, friend.   TT 



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
John


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I am so glad you have weathered the storm.. both of the sky and of life on life's terms.  Without a doubt, you honored your mother's birthday well.  She is smiling on you.

John



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" And what did we gain?  A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."

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tiredtonite


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Thanks very much, John.



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