The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Met with my boss today and she and the interview team chose to give the job to someone else rather than to give it to me as a promotion.
I expressed that sure, I was disappointed, but the woman who got the job is a former colleague of mine and has been doing the work for the last two years, compared to my less than one year. So I guess that trumps me. I really do like her though - had a great working relationship with her in the past and am looking forward to teaming up with her again.
My boss did say that she feels now she has a "dream team" to take care of our department. And that she thinks I'm doing a terrific job and was dreading having to tell me I didn't get the promotion. That felt nice.
I sent texts to some friends who had been waiting for the news. They were pretty bummed out, as was my mom. But I'm looking at it like this:
I have been through pure hell for the last 10 years, most intensely in the last 8 months. The promotion would have meant I would have had to deal with some pretty obnoxious people at work that are supposed to be helping me. It also meant I would be farther up the "food chain" so to speak, vulnerable to criticism and rejection of new ideas. My HP must've known I wasn't quite ready to jump back into the shark tank so quickly.
Now, being high on the food chain, dealing with ridiculous people, is not going to be my job. I can just do what I was hired to do and leave the corporate mularkey up to someone else. My HP knows that this is not the place for me at this time, despite what I may have prayed for :)
This is also a good way for me to work on one of my shortcomings. I've always been WAY too forthright with information - professional and personal. I was telling everyone my secrets. Work-wise, that meant ALWAYS sharing everything I know that made me special and valuable without any kind of compensation.
I've decided that I will be professional and hard-working for my new boss. But I will NOT be sharing with her everything I know that has earned me accolades from superiors and colleagues. If she's so good at what she does, she won't be having to come to me for help. Sounds selfish, but I'm not going to give away the farm anymore. She can deal with the crazies - I'll just sit back and continue doing the excellent work I've been putting out there.
Thanks everyone for your good mojo today. Didn't turn out the way I wanted, but it's turning out to be a good way for me to work on letting it go.
((((Blondie)))) good going sister...nice...strong...committed...willing to change the things you can; still. Over time it gets even better. Continuing on with gratitude is a first rate decision. HP will have other growths for you in the future. (((((hugs)))))
Even before I read your post--when I'd just seen the topic, I thought there might be a blessing in there, because often promotion and new job means some stress and you might not need any more of that just now.
And you were way ahead of me--already figured that out. Sounds as if you may have dodged a bullet.
I think you can feel very good about being interviewed and considered, since this other woman has been there longer and has already been doing the job. That says a lot about your abilities.
Hugs, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
You can be proud of yourself for applying for the job against people with more years of experience!
Nice inventory about the pluses and and minuses of moving up the ladder. Hp will tap your shoulder with the opportunity that's mean't for you. Sometimes rejection can be God's protection. This is something I need to embrace too when I feel passed over.
Thanks for the reminders about self worth and remembering to value our strategies, skills and ideas. I'm trying to put that into practice more these days by neither holding onto them too tightly nor giving them away too casually. It's taken bumping into a few walls to find that middle ground. :) Hugs and best wishes to you. It sounds like your immediate supervisor cares about your feelings. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
I think the grace you showed your boss over accepting the decision and your willingness to work with the woman who did get the promotion says a lot about you Blondie - you didn't take it as rejection of you, but that she was just more qualified. Good job! And, grace shown has a way of coming back in your favor, your boss will remember how you took the bad news.
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
