Not a he...a she.  I didn't obey the rules and requirements when I first got here so when they said men on men and women on women I did exactly what was then expected of me...you got it.  Her name is anonymous because that's how it works but her works helped save my mind and spirit, emotions and body.  She was very good until she fired me for...you guessed it...not doing it as suggested.  "Well damn it all I did arrive on the door steps of Al-Anon as a Oppositional Defiant, self centered, know nothing at all".  Yep I got fired because this hip slickin cool dude that I am wanted her to do all my step work.  Ouch!! that smarted and she wouldn't back off and reconsider.  So she pointed me at a male man type person named Don T who you have heard me speak of many many times.  He, as I look back on it now was "makana o ke akua" a god gift or gift from God thru her.  I fooled around with the program until I was amazed at how it could save a person's life and mine needed saving and I had to do the work myself with a sponsor who was so very wise and experienced and not willing to fire me but to light a fire under me.  He's passed on now except for what he left inside of me all of which was been beyond my most wild awarenesses.   "When in doubt??....Don'T"   "Don'T...react!!"   "Don'T project...you're not a fortune teller".   I miss him alot and get to visit with the one who pointed him out to me.  We are all friends dead or alive doesn't matter...we will never be separated as long as one of us is here.   I'm looking forward to meeting up again with her.  I'm sure we'll do that stop and stare and question "is it you"? act before the smile.  You know how that goes.  It's been over 20 years...of gratitude.  Thank you God...Thank you Al-Anon.   ((((hugs))))