The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I want to say where I am currently at. I know I haven't been back much lately posting. I wished I was ready to be more of a support to others, and I do come back alot to read the stories of each one of you, and they keep me so much more in th erality of things. They help me staying true to myself and not fall back into excuses and lies tjat would make me drift back to the insanity , i know that. So a huge THANK you to all of you, for your presence, honesty, humility and strength. I cannot put into words how much this board meant to me over the last year.
A friend of mine who has supported me immensly the past two months and understands what happend to me, yesterday had a nervous breakdown due to all that story, and also because it affects her emotionally more than I thought because she also has been affected by her alcoholic dad, and so my story brought her a lot of realisation...but at some point it was too much. So she broke dow in front of me, but she didn't understand the reasons....just very much hurt. Then I realized again how strong this disease his, not only for those who are suffering from it, but also how much it affects the lives of those who love these people. I couldn't do much more than apologize for maybe sharing too much of my story, being insensitive for not seeing how much it affected her personally. I realized that i had grown stronger due to Al Anon, more ready or with the right tools to deal with the affects. I told her about the program..i cannot force her to join...i just mention it now and then. But she isn't ready possibly. It's ok.
Just yesterday I had a kind of awakening, that I am more connected to the people around me that I thought in all of this. A still does what he does, in craziness...and there are days where the fear still comes back in waves. But I know myself better now and I know I can walk away from it...i don't always have to join in, even if that's another persons reality and suffering. I do also hope that with more time I manage to connect more and more to the people around me, and this board, to share what I've learned, my experience, in order to give support to others...it is true that the last to months I was too busy licking my own wounds and not trusting anybody, because I didn't trust myself anymore due to what happened. I was working through the anger and the hurt...
...and working slowly towards open heart and embracing the presence of others. HP did show that to me nicely
Hugs, Tortuga, I always love reading your progress and your stories. We are all grateful to each other here and that's where the program comes in and rescues us all. Have a great day!!!
that is why this works so well It is a fellowship of equals