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This is my first post here, and I'm curious to hear what you think. I've been in a steady relationship with a sober alcholic for around 9 months. She's got 3 years sober, including from marijuana, painkillers and of course alcohol. I don't drink, have quit smoking, and have given up smoking marijuana - which I did in the past both recreationally and to manage chronic pain. The past year I got serious about dealing with my chronic pain problems (stemming from two autoimmune diseases) and have been to dozens of doctors' appointments. At this point I've made nearly all the lifestyle changes recommended, tried many rx's for the diseases that I haven't been able to tolerate, and am now developing severe depression as a result of both chronic unmanaged pain and also as a side-effect of the one medication I have been taking regularly. Medical marijuana is looking like a good option for me to manage my symptoms, but I'm concerned about the position this puts my alcoholic in. We've discussed this many times, and as time has progressed and my health has deteroriated and I've eleminated options for treatment, she's become more accepting of the possibility.
I'm wondering if it's an enabler tendency for me to be wondering and worrying so much about her reactions and her sobriety - I really need to be looking out for me first and foremost right? At the same time, I wonder if this is too much to ask of her, even if we can negotiate how best to handle it for her and for me? I value my (sober) girlfriend too much to lose her, but I also am really hitting the wall with my own health.
Thanks for reading and any thoughts you can share.
At 3 years sober, she should be able to handle you doing it for medicinal purposes. The problem would be any desire for her to "join in" and multiple things could affect that. I have 4 and a half years sober and I don't think this would bother me but marijuana was not my drug of choice (it was 90 percent alcohol). I don't know what really got her into the rooms but that does make some difference. Also, you might set some limits around it that you guys agree upon which would be where you smoke, when and where you keep it. If you are using it medically, then it should be like you taking a pill basically. You won't be smoking all day and hitting the bong while listening to Bob Marley and making your whole life about weed. It's going to be a medicinal thing just as if you had narcotics around. For me, I would want my partner to hide those narcotics away from me cuz I would be tempted to take those in a weak moment. That is all I would ask cuz if he needed the pills, that's his business and I have absolutely no right to deny him his medical treatment cuz of my addiction issues.
In terms of preparation I'm thinking of a tincture as I've read that they are good for controlling dose and delivering the medicinal aspects with minimal side effects. A pill preparation might be a good option too. Anything involving smoking/eating I think smacks too much of recreational use and is something I want to avoid.
I have had some narcotic medications prescribed and that has been a non-issue. For my qualifier I think marijuana is more of a temptation than the pills, though she had trouble with both while using.
Right now, my gf is feeling like this makes sense for me as an option given the pain levels I'm dealing with and lack of relief from pharmaceuticals, but is having a lot of trouble with her sponsor. When she told her sponsor I was considering medicinal use, her sponsor basically freaked out and told her to break up with me, that it did not matter if it was for medicinal use or not, and that my gf is essentially doomed to relapse if *I* do this. I feel really bad for putting her in this position, but am also suffering greatly from chronic pain and depression caused by both chronic pain and as a side effects of medications I am taking.
