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Thanks dponlyme, I think it was rotten too, but I don't get much support in that arena. BTW they were attorneys....I was the office manager. Like David fighting Goliath. So I have just laid low for almost 3 years now and tried not to rock the boat and cause a stink about it. I just struggled to get over it and get past it and not be bitter and not talk junk about them. Because I was mortified, I had never been fired before and I took my job there VERY seriously and worked very hard. And I was good at my job - they always said they loved me and were so grateful to have found me.
But then this happens today and it's like re-opening that horrible time in my life. Because it was horrible - I was fired and jobs were so scarce - I was destroyed. It was very hard to get past that life event. But yes, you are totally right. I should be grateful. Looking back I see it was a dysfunctional place to work.....but no use re-hashing all that, right?
And thanks Jerry F, I think I'll delete the nasty-gram I saved as a draft. :) I want to be the better person in this situation, and NOT sending the email seems the right thing to do.
-- Edited by NicoleDiver on Wednesday 10th of April 2013 03:45:05 PM
So I get this email from my mom today telling me how it is a shame that I was fired from my job in 2010 because of my AH. Which was news to me. Yes, I got fired in 2010 but they never told me why, they just told me to leave when I got to work one Monday morning. And it just so happens that my AH had been arrested for possession of cocaine that Thursday before. I was upset, and my dumb*** told a girl at work what happened. And then yes, she blabbed it all over work. I always suspected he was the reason I was fired, but I live in an employed-at-will state, which means they can fire you for any reason. But they wouldn't tell me why. But now I know.
Because APPARENTLY, my former boss told his sister who knows my mom, and she told my mom - EVERYTHING. And that R-E-A-L-L-Y ticks me off. So I thought I'd vent here because I am very close to sending my former boss a nasty-gram. And I probably shouldn't do that. But seriously, how dare they? First off, not tell me why I was fired, and then go running and tell OTHER people why I was fired? That is just wrong. And of all people - tell my mother? Who is already mean as dirt and has nothing nice to say to me? Come on, kick me while I'm down, why doncha.
The fact they would fire you for something you had nothing to do with and had no control over tells me that you should count your blessings that you don't work for these terrible and unfair people any more. That is just totally rotten what they did to you.
"Cunning - Powerful - Baffling", "Powerless", and more. All those thoughts and descriptions and supports I get to think about before I do anything about anything and then "choices", "responsibility", "consequences" and more. Al-Anon use to have a slogan that outside of my own program I rarely here simply spoken. "THINK!!" The program even gave me my present definition of sanity which I have kept and tried to practice for over 30 years. First time I heard it I thought "rocket science" and the next thing I thought was "I've never done that!!".
"A continuous and orderly process of thought". "I've never done that"!! I lived in the reaction rather than the response and my reactions use to create mountains out of mole hills...for me. The response lessons are really great lessons and they require that I sit quietly and think rationally about what happened...how I feel about it...what I want to do about it if anything because of the consequences I desire. Rocket Science!!
One of the behaviors I have used to deal with old resentments is tantruming...Still know how? Find a safe place and convient time and go there...get ready and tantrum the very best you know how...make it good...use tantrum language and then after 15-20 seconds stop...straighten your clothes and hair and then go on with life with a knowing smile. You done good. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it.
My simplest tantrum is saying with stress. "Iggily Figgily fagalooma"...and then I'm done. LOL. Practice Practice Practice. ((((Hugs))))
Don't rip the scab off! Every action has a reaction. I agree that what happened to you is horrible and you were treated horribly. That is the past...Don't get sucked back into the hurt. Think of it as it's over. The grace of this program is that it all about you. How we handle things to lessen our load....Unfortunately people will always talk hate. They talk hate they get hate. I am currently dealing with a family member that is hard to handle...However, I realized I don't have to deal with it. HP doesn't do anything without a plan. Try to think of it as a lesson on how we would like to be treated and flip it. We wouldn't want to be the person telling everyone else their business. Yes it hurts and we feel it, remember it and sometimes hold on to it for to long. Guess what I am really trying to say is if you want less drama don't create more. They know what they did, let them own there part. Even if you think they aren't owning it...they are!
