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The last 6 months have been a nightmare thanks to my stbxah rapidly spiraling out of control. He has created tons of financial and legal issues for both of us. I was just starting to think things were starting to look up for me. And then I just found out my job is shutting down next week. For the first time in my life I am about to be unemployed. I am in such a panic right now I can barely breath. Since separating from my AH and having him steal all or moneyto spend on the woman he was having an affair with I can barely pay my bills. I'm not sure exactly how much I will be getting from unemployment but I'm told it will only be 60 to 70% of my current salary. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I will have one more paycheck coming then I will recieve pay for the 2 weeks vacation I didn't use so if I don't find a job within a month I'm in a lot of trouble. There is no way I will be able to pay my rent on the unemployent. I'm i not only worried, I'm very angry. The stbxah was unemployed several times during our marriage. All firings due to alcoholic related behavior so he never even recieved unemployment. And I worked very hard supporting both of us during these times. Now I need help and support and I don't have any. On top of the fact that I won't be able to support mysel,f I owe a fortune in bills he has racked up in both our names since he has been on the fast track to total destruction. On the bright side I think almost every bad thing that could possibly happen to me has now happended so things can't get much worse right?
Hugs, soooo sorry that you are going through this right now. Do you have kids at home under 18? You might be able to qualify for a lot more than you are aware of. Start looking now though at what can help you get through the worst of the times. It takes about a month anyway before any benefits will kick in. My STBAX decided he wouldn't pay when he wouldn't pay and for how long he wouldn't pay and now he is left with his own mess. It was a very scary time and it still is really. I don't have a job right now. I have used temp agencies to get by during the worst of times and sometimes that can mean a full time position. All you can do is the best you can do, believe me all of the worry in the world is not going to help or at least it doesn't me, I have to keep my focus on the next right thing for myself and the kids. It's NOT easy and again I am sorry you are going through this. I have felt angry frustrated confused sad mad you name it and I've probably had a flicker of it. There is help available it just is a matter of finding the right places to ask. I don't enjoy having to do that at this point it's what I need to do to keep things going.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I can very much relate to your story and when I became newly seperated I had someone very underhandedly tried to get me fired from a job I had been at for 6 years, my boss knew me and so I was spared, but could no longer work with that one person any longer so I stepped away from that job and was just feeling like I could really use a break after all I had been through. At that point with my new found spare time I dove into Al-anon meetings, started the steps with my sponsor and applied for other jobs and started checking into help to see what my options were with social services. My job called me back in and gave me a new client that was much better and slowly things started getting better, I am unsure if it was my attitude changing or my circumstances, but I know things just keep getting better and that was 2 years ago. Keep your chin up and keep putting one foot in front of the other making the next right decision as they come and try not to look at the whole picture at once that can be overwhelming. I figured things out as the decisions had to be made and it all worked out. Sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Aloha Nicole it's okay to be fearful and panicky cause that is human under these conditions. Been there and done that myself and was brought through it with a great home group and sponsor who continuously altered my perceptions from super negative to positive and hopeful. You have more time for face to face groups and literature and sponsor get togethers so there are blessings here. This is good let go and let God time and yes you won't get the money that you do for working for someone else and you will get the benefits of working for yourself and your peace of mind and serenity. It always sucked when I lost employment from someone elses decisions and then I had to remember that there were periods of no employment because of my choice to change...bothways it came out right for me. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. ((((hugs))))
