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I got a really strange phone call about 2 hours ago that has left me on edge. My AH called very shook up and crying and said that he had a bad dream about me. He said that someone is watching me and wants to hurt me. Just kept saying it's bad, it's really bad. Made me promise that I wouldn't let anyone in and would keep my doors and windows locked. I do anyway and have since I moved out on my own in January (was with my parents since August after he got physical with me after many months of verbal abuse). His rage is right below the surface at all times and I am very aware that I don't feel safe. He is not the same person that I knew for so many years. I wonder if he has truly gone off the deep end and is projecting what he wants to do to me off on a dream or someone else. Does that make sense? Do you think I'm over analyzing? I have family members that live right below me and they said they would put their cell phones right by the bed and I could go to my mom and dad's but I hate to be run out of my own home because I realize he may be trying to intimidate me too. Hate to show him that he has scared me. Any thoughts?
-- Edited by wornoutmrsfixit on Monday 8th of April 2013 09:24:22 PM
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
(((Worn)) That is indeed upsetting. it is good that you do lock your doors and are careful about how you take care of yourself. I am also impressed that you have relatives near by and they are willing to keep connected with you. Listen to the still small voice within and know that you can always call 911 if frightened
UGH .. that has to be terrifying!! I'm so sorry this is happening right now. Do NOT hesitate to call 911, the police will gladly come and check things out. They would rather you be overly cautious and nothing happen than think everything is fine.
If you can limit your contact with your ex even better. Who knows the state of mind he is in, it's better to have those kinds of calls go to V/M or text because you can have documente proof of some of the reason you need to be concerned and aware.
What Betty said about that small voice and listening to it. Just stay connected and know that you have others watching out for you and let your HP guide you in the next right thing for you to do. Get some sleep and please keep us posted!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks for your concern. I did decide to stay at my apt. tonight. I have the phone beside me and will be "sleeping" on the couch. Don't really know why but I feel safer out here.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Call the child and family intervention people and make an appointment to talk with them including filing a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO). I'm a former Alternatives to Violence Mens' case manager and If I was still there I'd recommend this always. ((((hugs))))
My exA is on edge too. Always in the back of my mind is that fear of him. My pattern has been to intellectualize my instincts away...but this time, I'm listening to my intuition. My counselor and I worked out some strategies...and one of them was to contact local police and let them know what is going on...just as a heads up.
This is really sad but what I know about alcoholism is that, over time, it leads to 3 places: Jails, institutions, and/or death. So - what I'm hearing is a decent into madness and like other's suggested, it's good to not minimize and keep professionals and or police in the loop so that when and if it's time for him to be committed to a mental ward it will happen as it's supposed to. It sounds like some serious clinical depression with psychotic features which are all complicated by severe alcoholism. You could have called the police based on that conversation. A good rule of thumb/boundary is to ask "Is this person safe at the moment to themselves and others?" If the answer is no, then call the police. You can explain that to the person also later on. "You were not sounding safe to yourself and/or others." That is a boundary and it can be that simple...that is how to phrase it to the police also. "He sounds like he is a danger to self and others." Those are the words they need to commit someone to an involuntary hospitalization anyhow.
