The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I agree we are all human and should be very gentle with ourselves and others. I know that I for one was in fight or flight for many years living with the alcoholic I was always in REACT mode. He would act and I would REACT.
Alanon was the first place that suggested another way. Do not react I was told-- simply detach, step back view the situation and then "--respond." What a concept !!
"Say what you mean , mean what you say and do not say it mean " summed it up nicely. It works
Thanks for the topic
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 11th of April 2013 02:44:33 PM
I am very new to this board, and new to learning of the insane world of A, although not new to living in the insane world itself. Over the last two weeks I have read anything I can get my hands on.... researched, studied, you name it.
After reading another posters thread yesterday, about her feeling bad for "losing it", I started noticing a common theme here.... seems like many of us feel bad for losing it. I know in the book "get them sober" its states to be gentle with yourself, and I certainly agree.
But, being the way I am, I started thinking deeper about it, and I wanted to share some of my thoughts.... I hope that any of you that are starting to feel bad about "losing it", that this might help you a bit.....
We all know about the stress reaction that our body gives us, one term commonly used is "fight or flight"...... there are multiple other terms used for this, but essentially as most of us know it a build up of hormones, endorphines and other things that are created in our body when emotional or physical stress is presented to us. Creating us to either fight out the scenerio of stress, or run for the hills. Typically in most cases,our body will want us to fight it out, and when we feel in extreme danger and feel that we can not "fix" the stressor presented to us with the fight mechanism, this is when the flight mechanism kicks in. So, when you find yourself starting to feel bad that you "lost it".... DON'T!!! You are having a reaction that God created in you to protect you. If we went into flight mode everytime our A's caused us stress, we would spend a lifetime of running.... right??? So, what we are essentially trying to do, is totally make our bodies go agaisnt the natural reaction and defense placed with in it. If you think about it in that way (removing emotions, and just looking at it scientifically), it might make you feel better and not so down on yourself.
Remember, we are all human. One thing I try to do when I feel like I am about to go off on my AH is take a deep breath and say "EVERYDAY IN EVERYWAY, I AM BECOMING BETTER AND BETTER"..... Just saying that little phrase helps me shift my focus on me, and away from him.
Keep up the good work everyone!!! LOVE YOURSELF!!! GOD DOES!!!
