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It has been about 3 weeks since my AH drank. Has been nice but knew it would not last. It seems everytime something stressful comes up in his life he drinks. I could tell this morning that today was a drinking day and a few hours ago I confronted him. Why, I have no idea. It all goes downhill from there. Even though I try to go to the online meetings each night, read the message board, books, face to face meetings, I still lost it this afternoon. All it does is cause more problems and chaos. I really need some help. I feel so low and lost tonight. I am praying and crying right now. Please give me more guidance in this horrible family disease.
Why did you go off???? Why did you lose it???? Because you are HUMAN. And it is normal to want to do these things when you are hurt, upset, mad.... you want to "fix" the problem, or try and fix the problem. You would not be a human if you didn't do that. Thing is HIS illness, is not normal, and in this relationship you can't do the normal things you would do to fix such problems..... THAT IS HIS PROBLEM, AND NOT YOURS.
Do not beat yourself up.... remember what the book "getting them sober" says.... be gentle with yourself, be kind.... you will not do things perfect, you will try to do things the normal way... you know the way things are SUPPOSED TO GO, its not your fault that normal doesn't work here...... So, you slipped, okay.... what now... get back up, dust yourself off, and learn from it. Give it to God, HE is the only one that can fix this, not you, not your H.... trust that God loves you and your H enough that as your father he will make things right.
Go take a bath, and relax and pray.... and thank God that you know he will get you through this, and he will fix this situation. ((((((hugs)))))))) sweetie. I am praying for you. Keep your chin up.
My AH hasn't drank in about 3 weeks, either, and I know I wouldn't handle it well if he did. You freaked out because you're human so there's no need to beat yourself up. Just because you're working the program doesn't mean you'll have all the answers or become a perfect person overnight. One thing we have to learn to accept while working on ourselves is that 'we aren't perfect, no one is'. Accept your humanness(is that a word, LOL) and take a breather for yourself. Grant yourself some grace, ask for forgiveness from your AH if you feel it's necessary, and then know that you tried to make things right and maybe even journal about it. There's nothing wrong with praying and crying, I always feel better after I do those things, as awful as I feel in the moment. Purging myself of negative emotions is so important for me and helps me see my own journey of how far I've come and how far I have to go. Hugs to you, tomorrow will be a better day!
My AH was getting more and more verbally abusive so I dialed 911, but then hung up. I called two neighbors to come over, not thinking the police would come too, but they did. To make a long story short they took him to a motel, His BAC was .193. My AH kept saying he was going to drive himself and I told him to go ahead, that when he got into the car I would call the police. I felt such a relief and calmness when they came and when the AH left. Thanks for the prayers and hugs.
Hugs Jen, Sooooo glad you are ok. Sending you love and support especially during this difficult time. Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I still "lose" it after 9 years of recovery, and, you know what? Sometimes it feels so damn good and it gets me into good action (I really can still make good choices even when I lose it, which is a testament to the power of al anon). You got into some great action!
Jen. . .Can i ask what and how he responded when the police came? What is your situation now? Ive come close to calling or leaving but d notjing but cry and pray for him to.leave or pass out as i cant just pick up my kid and go and i fear the result of actually caling for help. The ramifications would possibly be worse. . . Yoy know, my fault, blame me not the alc, i over reacted etc. Please let me know how you are and what happened if you are able
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
My AH was shocked but I think relieved the police came. He felt this was his bottom. When the cops asked what do you want me to do and I said take him to a hotel I felt such a relief come over me. My husband called me the next morning with apologies, etc. . I did not want him arrested, just out of the house. Monday, Tuesday and so far today have been calm. I did go to a F to F meeting last night and plan on going on Thursday night too along with the online meetings here so I can keep myself together. The situation now is he needs to get help. He wants help. He has very low self esteem, has severe tinnitus, helps to take care of his 91 year old mom, had an early retirement 8 years ago, so there are a lot of issues contributing to the drinking. I think one thing piled on to another and another just was too much for him to handle so he drank. It is still not acceptable. I hate this disease.
