The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I tried so hard to keep calm and have peace tonight but my ah walked in and smells of alcohol and cigarettes. I'm so sad I had suspected he had relapsed but now I have confirmation. I feel awful and I cried for awhile. I know only he can help himself. I think I should move out but I can't afford it until the first of May. I'm going to try and stay with one of my friends for April. I'm so sad and isolated here in this house.
It's good for you to cry it out sometimes. I know it does for me. But after I just need to kneel down and ask my HP to continue to give me the strength and move forward and except that my A is going to do what he wants and there is nothing in this world is going to change but HIM.
Being around others that know what your going through helps so much. Meetings...just being in their company weekly does make a difference in how you handle yourself when your A does what he does. Reading and journal what you feel each day also helps. I go back and read what I wrote 5 months ago and see how far I have come and reminds me that if I continue with the same actions nothing is going to change for me. I needed to change one day at a time and my journal shows this.
((( hugs ))) you are not alone...we are here.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I am new here, and I don't even know what words of encouragement to give you, as I am not even sure what is the right or wrong thing. But please know my heart goes out to you, I understand the isolated thing. I will be praying for you.
I so understand that feeling of utter disapointment. My a has been sober properly babout three times this time 8 months, I hate it when the disease gets him again. Like you I get out of the way let it run its course. I go to extra meetings, come on here a lot, read, read and read some more, pick up my phone, ring sponsors. I take lots of al anon medicine so I do not go down with him.
You are not alone, hope you have a good relationship with Ur Hp hand your A over and do what is right for you one day at a time.
Texasgal you are are not alone. I am in London and experiencing the same thing I like what Tracy has written about taking 'al anon medicine' - that makes me smile
when my partner has a slip I go into reactive mode and think I must make a stand for myself and to show him This usually puts more pressure on me as I get into a spiral of low esteem thinking how much my life is not how I want it knowing this has not stopped me having spin in my thoughts and emotions this weekend! but knowing it has helped me to come through it quicker for today my leaving him would not help me to have more peace
I hope you have a bit of peace and get some support here x
