The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am very impressed with the fact that you had the courage to suggest and promote a group conscious and business meeting . You are right a healthy meeting is important and in order to make sure it stays healthy business meetings are essential. I see you were faced with opposition and that is usual.
What worked for my meetings was to vote on having a business meeting every quarter on the first meeting of that quarter. . That was then a standard format and people liked knowing that they could bring issues to that meeting and resolve them .
Growing up in alcoholic homes many of us never learned how to cooperate in groups, nor do we know how to present our ideas, listen to others ideas and then reach consensus I think business meetings are very important to recovery.
I also love the fact that alanon is a fellowship of equals. The 8th Tradition clearly states that our "12 Step work should remain FOREVER NON Professional" It works that way as I have two social worker professionals as sponsees. We are all human and can not heal ourselves.
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 27th of March 2013 08:21:33 PM
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 27th of March 2013 10:38:21 PM
Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respect within the group. But it seems to have worked out, reached another level.
What works best for me is ESH... I think that draws people into Alanon and keeps people coming back. It keeps me healthy and on track. In my family there were numerous diversions to avoid the real issues. Sometimes Alanon can get like this too- as all of us wrestle with our own desitiny... I do think the rules and protocols are important- good glue, and good oil... but for me ESH is paramount.
Thinking through what works for me- at age 21 i went to my first Alanon/AA open meeting. like lots and lots of people I did not know what Alanon was, and what it was for. My motive going along was because I was keen on helping alcoholics.
After the meeting i was taken aside and spoken to by an Alanon member. I suppose deep down I identified with the way the illness had affected my life. Not long after i went to an addiction counselor. I was told that my dad 'had issues' and that his drinking was a symptom of that.
There was no reflection on what had happened to my life. There was no comment- like 'have you ever considered going along to Alanon?'
I did come along 12 years after that- and never looked back. it needed further prompting, including a community outreach and a newspaper article.
Inside the rooms I have heard a lot of tooth-grinding over professionals. My own belief, at the moment, is this. Make Alanon work well, make my group healthy and bringing in new members [which it is]. Practise loving caring detachment to others, who may not understand. people, who, if they wished, could help us in Alanon, and help relieve people of despair and pain.
For a time, as I read this forum, as people came forward day by day with their ESH I was given to despair- how and when will this madness ever end??? But all those years of meetings, and readings kicked in. it bought renewed hope, renewed determination. To keep applying to programme to my own life, and to take care of my own patch.
Maika`i David...I love this share because it is so right on...well intentioned and disciplined...steps and traditions within the program of Al-Anon. When will it every end? Since you can only self reflect within your own program how can you answer that question for yourself. Has it ended for and in me? We learn we have little to no control over what goes on outside of us; I know this well because I have continued to attempt change regarding this disease without having it come out different than it has been for thousands of years. There are people who will produce, distribute and sell mind and mood altering chemicals who have more power and middle man politicians who do not have the experiences and it's vision as the fellowships of Al-Anon and AA do. Do we quit? From your post here...NO!! we carry the ESH with us and append it to the 12th of our 12 steps..."Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we try to carry this message to others and practice these principles ...in all our affairs."
Professionals have been gathered within the "clinical" model of recovery a part of which justifies the disease as a consequence of mental/emotional problems...they have said that "the alcoholic drinks because they have problems" ...there is another side which is firmly on the same journey as Al-Anon and AA which are called "social model" recovery. These fellows say that "the alcoholic has problems because they drink". I have been a behavioral health therapist within and without rehabilitation services both clinical and social model and personally agree from experience with the latter definition. What the clinical professional doesn't argue with is that the program work best to arrest the addictions to alcohol and other mind and mood altering chemicals and then after that...? For me I have witnessed the conflict my own VA alcoholism counselor (past) had with my experience and change in the Al-Anon program...he disagreed soundly and thru detachment I let his reactions pass and learned alot from him in other major areas...importantly...there were several time where thru mutual consent...he allowed me to be his counselor and drew change and health which came at him from a member of the same program he rejected/resented at times. No problem. I have had professionals in the past witness my work and therapy and then after seeing the results ask me "how do you do what you do"? Sometimes my responses have been "simply"....meaning I do what I do simply...without undue stress. There have been longer responses and most of the time I wished I could have done those more "simply" too. Currently the program continues the same...my present PTSD counselors have also taken from the program as I work it and one even has asked me permission to use some of my experience and understanding with her cliental. You can give this program away to professionals...without charge and without fear that it won't also work for them as it does for your group, sponsees and your self.
Your vision of your program and the consequences of the affects of a healthy group is sooo right on...I love that because that is also my experience. Stay the course...keep on keeping on...continue to Trust God, Clean House, Help Others. lol "May the Force be with you" - just had to do that...sorry ((((hugs))))
Great post and I love the insights. Having been around the mental health field for a long time and to many counselors through the years, I believe al anon works because it is a "level playing field". No one in true recovery is playing the expert role. In my early days of al anon I was reluctant to share with clients that I attended al anon, concerned I would be judged as "flawed" and ineffective. Now, I share what works for me in al anon and I am happy to be viewed as flawed, as it releases me to be human and humble. These posts give me pause to contemplate...thanks. ...and there are times when I have to take a break because the heartbreak gets to be too much.
Mahalo PP for the humble honesty...that I think is soooo needed in the professional field. Still yet the "level playing field" in the profession isn't widely accepted. Too bad because as you relate...we are really just human. (((hugs)))
Things are going okay at the moment. In my home Alanon group I felt we needed to have a business and consciance meeting, fairly regularly.When my turn to chair a meeting came around, I bought this up. it seemed to bring up a lof of conflict. I was frightened of losing the group- or rather losing my respect within the group. But it seems to have worked out, reached another level.