The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was his trial date. The case was dismissed, after both he and I spoke with the prosecutor (individually), and I also spoke with the court advocate. I could have shared lots of information about his alcoholism, and insisted that he be sentenced to a court-ordered treatment program. (This was advice from friends and family, who I know are concerned). But in the end, I told the truth about the day in question, and left it at that. AH says he is motivated in his outpatient recovery program and committed to staying sober. I decided to let him take responsibility for his own sobriety. I've been doing so much forcing of solutions in the past 6 weeks, I just can't keep doing it.
Honestly, I'm relieved that this case is over. I'm also relieved that he didn't hire an attorney, since we don't have thousands of dollars to spend, and ultimately he got the result that any good attorney would have gotten as well. On the other hand, I'm fearful that he will relapse again, but I realize that I can't control that at all. Now is time to take care of myself, and focus on my own recovery.
((((Paris)))) you have release and relief...spiritually relaxing and in balance now. Good for you. You did "your" part as your saw "your" part to be and you trusted your HP and then the courts. That is the mentor in part on how I was taught to work our program. Then I was taught to "let go" and continue my growth in the Al-Anon Family Groups which offered and then allowed me to learn how to get my sanity back and then everything else. You can now again allow everyone else to go on with "their" programs of choices and consequences. Thanks for the share, keep coming back. Mahalo
It is important that you feel confident with your choices that they were made from your own point of view and not someone else's. I'm glad you feel relief and serenity about what happened in court. He will either decide to stay sober or he won't. You can't do anything but try to force solutions, and as you say, you are tired of doing that. You don't have to fear his relapse if you really, really use the time to take care of yourself. I finally knew (in my core self) that I would be okay no matter what happened to him after a few years in AlAnon when I finally started trusting in myself and my own recovery.
My hubby never went to any inpatient or outpatient program. He went to AA every day to impress the judge and then he finally realized that AA was there to help him live a sober life....for a lifetime. I can't honestly say that things are all sweet and lovely now because they are not. He is still an alcoholic and that makes him different from me. I don't understand him a lot of the time. But he doesn't drink and we don't have those horrible nights and days that we used to have (and that I remember but he doesn't).
Your hubby will be as healthy as he chooses. You need to focus on yourself and make yourself as healthy as you choose to too. Take care of yourself.
I remember the worry and fears I had waiting for something to happen or outcome of something coming. Most of the time it came out the way it was suppose to and I spent 3 weeks with worry. WHY? I ask myself. I couldn't control not one dang thing and my worry only hurt me. It didn't change the outcome in anyway. Just made me miserable.
My A is going to drink or he isn't. He is going to take of his business or he isn't. What am I going to do next time.
God please take over the job of keeping my A safe and give me serenity and peace. Amen
(((( hugs ))))
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I think you did a great job taking care of yourself first and your serenity. For myself personally, each hurtle I get through without giving my power away to others, helps me feels closer to my hp and stronger in my Alanon program. Somes days it's really evident why this is a one day at a time program. Thanks for sharing your recovery. Hope you'll keep coming back and keep sharing how the program can work if you work it. Hugs. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
