Have found myself much happier doing what is innately me, a bit of rehab and rescue.

A gal and her family are rening the 20 acres across the road from me. She has everything...they are all sooo sweet and healthy.

I ended up rescuing Augy my Berkshire/guinea hog mix. He is gorgious, won't be as big as a regular farmpig. But no one is eating my August Ronan McPhate! He drives dickens nuts but that was not far for Dickens to go..hehe

um Tory is the rescue horse. She is a mess, you say something wrong with a horse as far as needing rehabbed, she is it. parasites, skinny, hooves bad,teeth bad and more and she is only 4 years old. Will be very pretty. Follows me around, lays her head on me, comes when she is called.

The gal had part of her animals here until she could get fences up. One was a very pg goat. sadly the pregnancy was way too much for  her. Was the worst storm of rain, wind and cold I have seen for awhile. They had Princess goat in the bunkhouse all covered, I had a light on her.

I ran out into the storm to make sure everyone was ok. Princess was laying in a puddle of water, uncovered on her side. I had put plastic over the windows and a tarp but they all blew off. so I dragged her to dry on top of a horse blanket covered her, put my heater on her then put a tent of tarp over. warmed her up some food and water and etc. I realized she was in labor, but could barely work the contractions....oh man.

I am alone. soooo I washed up got my med stuff and sat and had to pull the goatlings. Was so hard. they were all tangled up, 3. Alll would have died had it not been for HP being with me, guiding me. No way could I have moved an over 200 pound goat alone, no way.

the first one, a he,  was blue but pinked up pretty fast. all I had was the bobby pins in my hair so used those to put on the cords. Second one was pretty iffy, she took longer to get going but once she was dry and warm was fine. Got them all cuddled with mom who is not moving but talking to them barely. I thought oh no there can't be another one. I just had a feeling, I know an angel whispered in my heart. I dove in, tucked way in there and turned, breach was the next girl. I had to untangle and get her in position. Mom has NO movement. got her out and was sure she was gone. did cpr but she was having such trouble, so full of liquid. slippery slimey and as limp and icky as can be. I ran to the house and dried her, did breath for her for awhile. then though to heck with it, maybe I can dislodge whatever is in the way. I sucked out of her. And she started pinking and breathing life breaths not death ones! oh man I rubbed and rubbed and stuck her not just inside my overalls but under my shirt on my skin. She warmed up. heaven.

I was HALT to the max. Needed to sob away the tension and fear. I do not like this stuff at all. I will breed nothing.

anyway got her with sister and brother, then worked on mom.  But she was so far gone. Held her up made her the stuff the vet said to and what I knew to. did all I could. but she had been dying since the storm. Was 6 days early to have them. I lost her and felt so awful. kicked myself for not getting her into my house so I could watch her.

Anyway N the gal who owns them came and we worked on them standing. I worked on my tiny one. did not want to let her go. layed on the floor loving them. When they left I fell apart. After all that hell, and bloody mess, the best part went away. hurt.

So anyway my guy called and calmed me down and said all the right things. he said you can keep a goat you know. I said NO I do not want a goat. He was adament saying you know you will. nope I didn't. Losing 'charlie was horrible.

Anyhoooo here are the pics of stuff. the little goatlings are doing great! (c: I like this family a lot.

Found out they are friends of my sons and the guy was always at my house when he was a kid!

Our using "To Thine Own Self Be True" is very real to me. I was so focused on La and his mess, I lost me. was not me again. Basically got sucked into his pit. told him I am heading up the ladder and out, I am outa here. Very soon about four weeks the court thing happens and that will be that. then he can do what he wants and it won't affect the divorce.

Myself, I am a bit indifferent. Just letting things coast omgosh my stupid chicken is drinking my tea! Punkido!!!rrrrrr she is a wyandote lacy thing.

Anyway after being so close to the way it is now, not anyones fault, I really am doing ok, but am not really putting much into it.thank goodness for MIP cuz I could tell what was happening to me, I was enabling him to not be as unhappy as he would be, being in that mess without me. He needed to learn,I was in the way. Plus he is happy I am happy, does not want his stuff to hurt me, and it was.

So its all good. cannot imagine my life with out him, nor he me. Its amazing how al anon/mip has made my life so much better, clearer. I run my life, my life does not run me. Where right now it is the opposite for him.

anyhoooo here are some pics!