The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
AH went to his outpatient program today. He is normally home by 1PM, but today he texted and said he was going to a friend's house afterwards for a bit. Of course my gut reaction was, yeah right, likely stopping at the bar or liquor store on the way....but I did not respond.... I waited and just texted back "ok". Then he calls me a couple hours later and says, are you sitting down? You are not going to believe this, but I lost my wedding ring. Apparently he lost it somewhere between the treatment center and his friend's house. He has searched his car, and is now going back to the treatment center in the hopes of finding it. He seemed so torn up about it...he said, "I'm so sorry, I'm so skinny now, it must have fallen off. We'll get new ones and we can have them blessed at the church"....He is so skinny because of the drinking and the drugs and not eating properly, but I didn't get mad. I got a little sad though. I told him not to worry about it, things get lost, its not the end of the world.
The sad irony is that I've been thinking for the past few days that I am really ready to be out of this marriage. I've been considering talking to a divorce lawyer, but then I think maybe I'm not ready for that just yet, and I'll give it until September. That is when I'll have a full year in Alanon and hopefully will be healthier and able to make the right choice.
You did very good in my opinion. It's so nice to see you coming along little by little. Keeping your head together when talking to him is so much better than lashing out.
It made me give you a great big smile...I wish you could see it.
Thank you for posting.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Aloha Paris...use the patience with both your alcoholic/addict and your HP. Fulfill your recovery plan and follow thru. Hopefully you'll get thru the inventory steps which are sooo important to getting to know the one person you've lived your whole life with and haven't known enough about...you of course. In support (((hugs)))
It sounds like you've given this some thought and and made a decision to wait until you've had more time in Alanon before making a big life change. As far as the ring, I remember things like this were the least of my concerns when my spouse was rehabbing. Wedding rings ultimately are "stuff." A spouse that's gotten honest and is walking the walk will do that with or without his wedding ring on. Hope he does well with his program. Glad you're here sharing your recovery with us. Thanks for sharing. Keep coming back. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
A year in face to face, a good sponsor and completely step number 4 your inventory followed by step 5 will help you know the direction. Glad you are here, keep coming back.
