Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> No feelings
Post Info TOPIC: No feelings
Markmark


Newbie

Status: Offline
Posts: 1
Date:
No feelings
Permalink  

My wife has been sober now for 18 months and I still sleep down stairs I have no desire to sleep with her. I have not been the best husband in the past and she blames me for her drinking ( I was violent and did join dating agency's ) but I got counselling and she did support me. she thinks we should spit now as things have not gone back to normal after 18 months and she forgave me every time in a few weeks. Who is wright ? I don't know . Help please



__________________
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3026
Date:
Permalink  

Welcome Markmark

There are no winners or losers here. It's a sad time for both of you.

All I can say is you both will make the decisions what is best for yourselves. Whether it be together of apart.

Sending you hope and serenity.



__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 13696
Date:
Permalink  

 

 

Aloha Mark are you in Al-Anon or some other 12step program?  Is she in a 12step program like AA or such?  I would recommend that before you follow thru with split that you consider getting into and working a program which is designed to put yourself back together and giving yourself a life worth living  and maybe beyond your wildest dreams.  Yeah that isn't false advertising.  Get rid of "your" program and trade it in for "the" program.  She's done the work on getting and staying sober and it doesn't sound like you've done anything to complement that or affirm yourself.  It happens all the time...one partner will get into recovery and just by past the other with growth and they the generic solution comes up...divorce.  Why not divorce your old way of living and come try something different.  Read the post of those who have...the before and after to see that this works when you work it.   Course if you're not interested the consequence is fixed.   Great to have you check in with the MIP board...there are some really good experienced people here who can help you change your life if that is what you want.   Keep coming back (((((hugs))))) s



__________________
milkwood


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2200
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Mark,

You've been really honest in your post and it is great that you and your wife are able to admit mistakes. So your question puzzles me when you ask 'who is right?' Does it matter? In my experience we all make mistakes, it is what we each do next that really counts.

Your post does remind me of a question I am currently reviewing? What did normal look like? And if that was normal for us, is it a life I still want to live? I don't know the answers but I hope that sharing the journey helps a bit. Take care, and if you can give yourself the space to get to a few alaon meetings it might help you to decide what is best for you.


__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> No feelings