I feel terrible with myself.  Over the last 6 months I have had struggles with myself and wife the wife's drinking.  I was at a point of detachment with love.  I had in my head that as long as she was not abusive to me, neglecting normal things, basically if it was just that I thought she drank too much and no other behaivors that was her business and my business was mine.  I had started to do things that I enjoy and life was pretty live able.  Then this morning...

i had to work most of the night so I got little sleep.  I woke up at 9 this morning after getting into bed at 6 am.  I went town stairs and wife was doing some things.  I asked if she would mind making me some breakfast which she said ok and started to do.  No problem so far.  She asked me to empty the trash and I did.  As I was going through the garage I saw another small bag tied up with the small wine bottles in it, not Really concealed.  In the past I would have just ignored something like that as I had learned for the most part not to bottle bottles and never bring it up to her.  I brought the bag in and said "I thought you had stopped drinking the small wine bottles." And then walked out of the kitchen.  She said nothing but when she finished the breakfast yelled into the other room, the last breakfast I am making for you is ready.  I went in and told her that I was just very scared and she replied "don't talk to me right now."  I walked away.  

How could I have come so far with myself to the point I was content with life for the most part like others are and now this?  I had done so well and because of a few moments now its like I'm back to square one!  Sitting here typing I feel like such a fool. Normally I would havpleased before doing anything and thought, how do I see this playing out and then stopped myself!  My impulses are still to run and talk to her about this situation but see how that plays out.  It won't change anything.  While I would normally hear people saying don't be hard on yourself this is not your doing but to a degree it is.  I caused the confrontation and am very disappointed in myself.  Now the tension at home I can cut with a knife and has put a big damper pretty much othe whole weekend.  

Maybe you are right to castigate yourself that you brought the subject up.  But remember that she's half of the equation too.  She's the one who's trying to enforce the "Don't mention it!  Don't mention the elephant in the room!" rule and is giving you the immature silent treatment for bringing up the subject.  She's the one trying the manipulative technique in response.  Sometimes because we're the saner one in the equation, we take all the responsibility for being sane.  It's true that we can't expect a sane mature response from a drinking alcoholic.  But we don't have to lose sight of the fact that they're behaving insanely.

I hope you can go and have a good weekend.  Take care of yourself.