The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
There was a notice in the local newspaper recently about the weekly street sweeping program that resumes on April 1. I smiled when I read it - warm weather is on the way. The streets of my neighborhoood will be swept clean the third Wednesday of every month from April through October, and neighbors who are out walking or jogging or biking, will enjoy neat and tidy streets on their journeys.
The idea of street cleaning came back to me yesterday as I left work and headed down 3 flights of stairs to my car. Lately, I've not been happy to leave work and head home each night, wishing I could avoid the the tension I might encounter with my AH. About 2pm each day, I feel the stress increase and I know it is because I am starting to worry about another long and tiresome night of walking on eggshells. Yesterday, I headed down the stairs and counted each one, when I realized there are 12 steps on each flight! LOL HP, you are funny, hitting me over the head with this information!!
So as I descended each step, I thought of my HP, and envisioned all my worries and fears falling off me and landing in a heap on the step behind me, where my HP had a neat little broom and dustpan, sweeping up my fears as I headed home. I held onto to that image all night, and had a bit of peace.
When I woke up this morning, the first thing I felt was a literal heartache, tension and fear are the first thoughts as I open my eyes, making my heart clench. Quickly I pictured this little street sweeping HP, furiously working with his broom and dustpan, tidying up my heart and cleaning away all my worries.
It sounds a little silly to me as a I write it out, but this little image is helping me today. Do you all have images of your HP that help you through the rough times?
-- Edited by ParisMemories on Friday 22nd of March 2013 12:28:54 PM
That doesn't sound silly to me at all. Love the visual of the 12 steps walking down...Our HP sends out messages all the time and when we connect with them it's inspiring. This morning when you woke was an example of how we ache with hurt and loss, and however you feel your HP is all it needs to be...We really aren't alone. We have each other and of course our HP to guide us through the days. Some are painful and some days are joyous, but we get through them...Much love to you, and continued prayers so you feel less troubled during difficult times!
I don't think it's silly. I love the analogy and it's funny how our HP talks to us in small ways, we just have to be open to hearing the message. Keep building that faith and that strength and the days will get easier and answers will come to you. One of the things that helped me was to create a God box. My sponsor had me buy a box(but a shoebox will do) and I would put what ever is bothering me in there on a slip of paper. Like yesterday I wrote one that said, "Wisdom to know what to say in marriage counseling" and another one says, "Lifting up my marriage to my HP." Then, my sponsor said to take one of those slips of paper out every day or so and pray on that slip, carry it around with me, and make that my focus for the day. Honestly, it's a great way to work through stuff and I hope it's an idea that inspires others here, too. I do believe I've seen it referenced here on the boards, as well.
Love how you used the steps you were walking and counting and all of a sudden your inner voice made the connection to our 12 Steps and a new tool was foremd within you
I love your analogy. It's not silly at all. I also remember the days I dreaded going home from work.my teaching job was a place I could put on a happy face and give 110% to my little students. I didn't have to worry about them sassing me or grouching at me.
When I see our street sweeper I will think of your analogy. Thanks for sharing.
