The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon family groups.
It's funny how the more you progress and become in tune with your feelings, the more they creep up in places that you never thought they would. Tonight they came up at Ball hockey.
I currently play in a local league and signed up on a team of 'free agents' in an attempt to meet some new people. Everything is great, the people are great. In fact some of the guys said they were forming a team next season and asked me to join. I accepted.
One of the reasons we bonded and they asked me to join is because we are the 3 better players on the team. 1 day after they asked me to join them, I felt I had a bad game. I didn't score, had a few chances but nothing. Now I am afraid that I have disappointed them. I have disappointed myself. I was doing so great and now that expectations have been placed on me I am afraid that I will not meet them.
This has happened before with another team. Someone I used to hang out with who wasn't a nice guy to me. For whatever reason he didn't like me. Part of my thinking is that if I'm not good at hockey, then what other reason do they have to like me? I can't really offer them much else. Sort of a 'If they really knew where I came from, then they really wouldn't want anything to do with me'.
This old team put me on the last line with all the crummy players as soon as my play went down. These guys don't seem like that but I am afraid this is going to happen again. I don't want it to. I like these guys. I need help out there on the floor and I can't beat the whole team by myself :) That's what I was expected to do last time around. I am not that kind of superstar player who does everything by himself. I am a team player.
Anyway, I am ranting. Just wanted to get that off my chest
Hello Jim - the first thought upon reading your post was something I saw on an talk show; an actor stand in (twin bro) was talking about his dog and how the dog just looks at him with such loving adoring eyes and his thinking was, the dog wouldn't love him so much if it knew the real truth about him. The second thought was, they'll either accept you, bad playing or not, what will you do?
__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
My counselor keeps reminding me that my worst enemy is between my ears.
I have a tendency to overthink everything...and plan incessantly..which is a behavior leftover from living with an A...which, as you know, you have to have a plan A, plan B, plan C...because of the unpredictability.
I would encourage you to just PLAY and enjoy the game..people don't think about us and what we do nearly as much as we think they do...if that makes sense...
Use this as a learning opportunity...try to play just for the enjoyment of it...and no more spinning!! (that's what I call it when I go over and over something in my head that has happened with another person)...
RP
-- Edited by rehprof on Friday 22nd of March 2013 05:25:41 AM
-- Edited by canadianguy on Friday 22nd of March 2013 10:36:16 AM
My wife had a bad fall and is doing swimming to pull her up. I went along to help and ended up swimming. I always hated swimming and have fears of wet and cold. I want madame to get better so went along. so far i have done more swimming than i was ever able to, getting up to 3 km.
I have met and chatted with older men in the locker rooms- something i have missed most of my life. I sometimes drive past the golf course and regret that I did not get into that social circle. [In my country even working men [and women] get to play golf.]
I guess Jim you don't want, or need some coaching [life-coaching] from the sidelines. Just a friendly ear and some ESH.
