The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
so far ive come to realize that withh all my childhood abuse has effected my relationships with men but im not so sure how its effected my relationships with men or boyfreinds yet i hope i dont fall into denial with this,i dont know how it may have effected my relationships with my siblings since all of my abuse came from outside of my family,molestings and raped by being drugged ,that i didnt remember until i woke up the next day with 10 or 15 strange men and 2 men i knew that was suppose to be freinds and one of those men has a business here in my town a plumbing business and i see his van lots of places with his name on it i cant help but wonder if he remembers what he done to me and my sister 38 yrs ago,i sure wouldnt want to even ask him,or get to close to him he seems to be happily married though with a daughter of his own,im also confused on as to how to separate being molested as a child and raped from bbeing brought up in a alcoholic home as far as to the effects of it all,im still trying to bring all this to light no matter how scary it is to think about it much less write it down for ive hidden it all for all these years more like just forgotten all about it untill now reason ive brought it up is because im haveing such relationship problems that i dont know how to act or tell my fiance boyfreind ,im just cracking the shell here.thanks for listening this aint easy at all .thanks agin....hugs chinup,esh,esh,esh,thanks
'I apppreciate the amount of courage it takes to look within and attempt to reconcile what you find with who you are.
This is a difficult task and should be shared with a trusted sponsor. I do hope you have found an alanon sponsor that you feel comfortable with . Journalling, is a very good way to begin, working the Steps slowly will help to reach the anger, fear, self destructive behavior within and eventually you will be able to see and accept and move foreard. It is a process and you have just begun
Such a courageous woman you are. I agree with Betty that finding a sponsor and developing a relationship of trust with her would be healing...and, yes, be gentle with yourself.