The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After Some Much Needed Work on ME! I have Found that I Can No Longer Allow "Pity Pot" time for My Woo's... This Last Week has been a Roller Coaster of Emotions for me, and Frankly I'm just Sick to Death of Allowing it time of My Thoughts, & My Actions...
I Have Found that when I Surrender to My HP and I Mean TRULY Surrender I Am Then Taking My Power BACK! And not allowing those Stuck in it to take over my Life, & My thoughts...
Boundry's are a Wonderful thing! I have Learned in the Last 4yrs, that when I Allow "Others" to feed My Insecuritys of another that I am having Issues with, I then Take on thier Feelings, along with my own struggles... I had a Friend come to me the other Day and Complain about cituation that "They" are Allowing to Continue, yet they are Pissy,because the Same thing keeps Happening Over & Over again.(Can you Say Insanity?).. My Only thought on the matter was... "If you don't like how its Going! Then Do something About it!" (I don't think they wanted to hear that tho:( and I found it was time to set up that Boundry, in that I Can listen to them & Their Issues, but Not When it comes to Certain People! I don't need their Problems with this Person to Become Mine, nor do I have to Own ANY Of it!
I am Always On Guard to Begin with when it comes to people that have Hurt me in the past, and alot of times the Wounds are Far From Healed in some of them relationships, and Listening to Others Beat them Down has really not been a Benifit what so ever in my Recovery! So I have Stood back up for myself, and desided it was time for boundrys'... I Can say I don't "Like" persay, feeling like I have to Put boundry's on my Relationships, but WOW have I Learned the Differance in Having Boundry's in a Relationship as to NOT!
My Past is Riddled with NO Boundry's what so ever! If You Ask, I Agreed... If You Demanded, I said Hell No! And that till about 35yrs worked well...Or So I thought! But What a Gift Boundrys are, and It amazes me how my Growth improves with each one I set! Whether i Share it with them, Or Set it For myself & My Serenity =)
This Program can Truly Restore Us to Sanity, but Only if we Truly Desire it Long enough to Recieve Our Miricle! I have Been Lucky Enough to recieve Many over these last 4yrs, but I didn't see it that way Upon Arriving here!
When I Got here I wanted "Fixed" I wanted My Alcoholics "Fixed" My Addicts "Fixed" but in all reality, the only person that got "Fixed" was Me! Because I made the Choice to get up everyday, and Be Grateful I was Alive, and Now I Wake up after 2.5yrs everyday and Thank God for another "Sober" day! If you would have ask me Years ago, if I would EVER Quit Drinking... I would have said the same as many Alcoholics... "I Don't have a Problem I Just want to have Fun!" So Grateful Al-Anon alone Brought me out of that Denial... It has not been an Easy couple Years, but I tell you! It has been worth Every minute of it! I Continue on a Daily Basis to find my Next Great thing... Alot of times God Only Gives me what I need, and Other times I think HP Has more Faith in me then I Do Myself, but I Always seem to Charge thru unscaved by the Whirling of the Alcoholics/Addicts in my Life!
It is Great to Love them as they are Without Expectations, Its Great to See them as they are without Regret, or Remorse. And it is Also Great to see that in my Presents, I now see them instead of seeing every wrong thing they ever did to me or to others... I have Slips like everyone else & Want to step back and Slap Judgement! But thank Goodness My HP Is always in the Corner of My Soul to Remind me, That I Too was that "Sick/Diseased" person as well! Not always Easy to admit, But I'm Grateful for the Journey...
I agree, I too lived a boundaryless life and it was completely unmanageable and filled with chaos. What a gift this program is!!! I remember when I first heard people talking about serenity and thinking," That sounds boring". How mistaken I was!!!! The first time I truly felt serenity, I knew I wanted it and would do anything to maintain it.
I am so glad that you are here and sharing your precious inner self
Wow!! Jozie and Pushka with higher level ESH. When the students are ready the teachers appear. I hear again "I do the work inspite of outside reaction" Boundaries without outside power and control. Jozie you've done the work as Pushka has and the consequences are very very inviting. Keep on keeping on. ((((hugs))))
Boundaries are the best. Since I finally got a handle of it and set good boundaries....not one problem so far. Sometimes I think they are to good because I don't hear from my son at all and I KNOW it's because of my boundaries
Miss him but I know this is best...
Thank you for the share....
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
