The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is the first time I have ever spoken to anyone about this Im not sure what to do anymore or how to manage whats going on. My husband has been an alcoholic for around 8years he had a period of around a year when he didnt drink at all, then a few days after xmas we lost our home and have had to move in with a friend since then he has used it as an excuse to drink again. I even purchased a breathalyser and even when tht comes up that he has been drinking he denies it. I am at my wits end, I know he has been drinking, we have three daughters and the arguements with him debying it and me saying that he is drunk is hurting them. I cant turn a blind eye anymore but I just dont know how Im ever going to getout of this rut when he wont even admit he is drinking and somehow it always manages to turn round that Im the bad one for accusing him of it and its my fault! He is clever I havent found anything but i know what when he has ha even one, please help me
Welcome to MIP. I'm glad you found us. Please try to find a face to face (F2F) meeting in your area. You will find great support from others who have been and are in your same situation. I encourage you to read Al-Anon literature and learn as much as you can about alcoholism. Whether your husband admits he is an alcoholic or not, it doesn't matter. You are affected by his drinking and you need support. You will find that here on this board and at meetings. Sending you hugs.
I am so happy you found us and had the courage to share. You are not alone and many of us can identify with the actions you are taking in order to control your partner's drinking. Here, we accept the AMA's diagnosis that that alcoholism is a disease over which we are powerless. We did not cause it, cannot control it, and cannot cure it.
Being powerless over his disease does not mean we are helpless. Having lived with this disease we too need a program of recovery Alanon is that program. I urge you to check out the local face to face meetings in your community A ND ATTEND.
The hot line number is listed in your telephone directory. Here I learned to break the isolation caused by this disease, develop new tools to live by and finally learned how to focus on myself and to act in my own best interest and not react
Al Anon suggests that you make no major life changes for the first 6 months of program. This is a wise suggestion, since when we first arrive we are in crisis and tend to react to a situation inappropriately.
We have a slogan that states "Say what you mean, Mean what you say, BUT do not say it mean"
Take deep breaths, reread the postings on the board, say the serenity prayer, stay in this day only
Do NOT Project to the future or Look into the Past. Take care of you and your family right now as best you can.
(((fruitbat))) Your story is so familiar to so many of us here (including me). You have already received good ESH (experience, strength, hope) from PM and hotrod. I can only add to the suggestion of alanon. Face to face meetings if they are available where you live. If not, there are online meetings here. Alcoholism is a cunning and baffling disease. Not only for the A, but their loved ones as well. It can literally make us crazy. I can say that this place has been a lifesaver for me. Take care of yourself and keep coming back here. You're not alone, WE CARE ABOUT YOU. PS I love your sign on name!
Wow I could have written your post... amazing how astute we become to even one drink having been taken by our A's. Whenever my AW walks in the door I know in the first 10 seconds if she has had any alcohol. Does not look or act drunk, no slurring or stumbling, but I can still tell. It's like a superpower or something.
Each time I read a post such as yours, it brings back those memories of total despair and overwhelming exhaustion and confusion. Your higher power led you to this forum and to us to let you let know there is help and hope. First, you need to be make a commitment to your health and well being and embrace the 1st step of acknowledging that you are powerless over his addiction...only through a power that is greater and grander than you (your higher power....he has one, too and it ain't you) will you begin to heal. This will all make sense, in time, as you sit in face to face al anon meetings. It may not at first, but keep going back, NO MATTER WHAT. We have been there and so have the people in al anon. Sometimes they pass out phone numbers so that you have someone to call when you need a loving voice. All the best and keep typing to us hugs
) will you begin to heal. This will all make sense, in time, as you sit in face to face al anon meetings. It may not at first, but keep going back, NO MATTER WHAT. We have been there and so have the people in al anon. Sometimes they pass out phone numbers so that you have someone to call when you need a loving voice. All the best and keep typing to us