The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel relieved because the post went through. I am having some difficulties w/ money & dealing w/ my sister & the fact that the sale of my parents' house went through. My sis is upset & I am upset because she is upset. I wrote a post that didn't go through that explained in more detail. I can't remember how I worded it then, but now I am saying this. My sis would rather have my dad back than the money we got from his estate. I am starting to think the same way because of what she said. There were times when all I could do was think about the money. Yesterday, I cried & thought that maybe I was being too shallow & greedy. I need to hear what you all think.
Kathleen, I had to ponder this one for a bit before responding. What I believe to be the most helpful response is this: whether you do or don't have feelings of greed is OK as we all have them. When I saw greed, jealously, etc within me, I believed I was bad and shameful, then I isolated from people because I did not want them to see me that way. Now, I can laugh. What I think is so inspiring is that you had the courage to type out this post...by shedding light on these feelings, the power of them is minimized. Your sis has probably had the same feelings, but may not be able to acknowledge them. Every single feeling has an opposite..with greed it is generosity. Greed is the shadow side of generosity...so if you have greed you have generosity, too One big hug for you on this St. Pattie's day!
-- Edited by PP on Sunday 17th of March 2013 09:24:59 AM
I think I know you pretty well, Kathleen and I know you are not really a greedy person. As Paula said, we all have a bit of greed in us, but it is tempered with generosity.
I am thinking that what you and sis are feeling is more the bargaining part of the grief process (with a bit of survivors guilt mixed in), where you are both wishing you had the power to give that money back and it would bring your Dad back. Of course we all know that can't happen, but it is part of the process to think and feel that way.
Just know that time will heal you and your Sis and this too shall pass.
Love in recovery and great big (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))),
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
One big hug for you on this St. Pattie's day!