The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My AH stayed sober for one month, but now he is drinking again. Bad. He has been staying with his grandmother for about 5 months, and I have been at my parents since August. Wednesday morning, everything seemed to be going ok. I went over to see him, we talked and laughed, and it was wonderful. Around 1:00, he called me, drunk, asked me a question (I will just keep it private), and got mad at my answer. He hung up on me. His grandmother was gone to the doctor, and the unhealthy part of my brain told me it would be a good idea to go try to calm him down. When I got there, he just started yelling and cussing me. He called me every kind of hurtful name under the sun, told me he didn't love me anymore, told me it was stupid of him to have married me, and on and on. He then threw a prescription bottle at me twice, and said, "SHOO!!", so I just went ahead and left. I called his aunt to tell her that he was in a rage, because I was afraid for his grandmother to come home. Well, AH found out, called me and told me that I was dead to him. Yesterday morning we talked, and he said he wanted a divorce. This used to would have scared me to death, but I have come to a point where I just have no more fight left in me. I never thought that I would ever be willing to give up my marriage. At this present time, I don't have the money to file myself. If he files though, I will sign. I am very upset that it has come to this, and I just want my sober husband back so badly that I can't stand it. But I am also just so sick of the madness. That's what it feels like; madness. As much as it hurts, the past two days have actually been sort of freeing.
On a positive note, I woke up this morning craving change. I have decided to renew my gym membership, and made an appointment with my hair dresser! I'm going from a brunette to a blonde! I refuse to let this keep me down. I'm only 24, and I have already missed out on so much that life has had to offer. No matter what happens, I choose to remain positive!
Hugs and welcome back!!! I love getting my hair done!!! Enjoy!! The chances of him filing are slim to none. I doubt had I not filed the stbax would have. The lack of file through is interesting. Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I can so relate. My husband also started drinking like crazy after a period of not being completely sober but he had cut way back and was trying very hard to get sober. Everything seemed to be going great until we had argued one evening when he was very drunk. He told me he didn't love me and wanted a divorce. His horrible behavior escalated along with his drinking. It's been 5 months now since all this started. He told me daily he hates me and was leaving. He made no attempt to leave until I kicked him out. I'm so over all the chaos and abuse and ready for the divorce. I offered to pay for all the divorce costs and he refuses to sign the papers. All the while he is insisting he wants me out of his life and blaming me for holding up the divorce I want as badly as he claims he does. They want to keep us in their lives so they can continue to blame us for all their problems.
And this is the beginning statement. This is the statement where I finally did the slogan..."let go and let God". I was done and had no more fight left in me and so I turned my palms downward and let it all go. I called help in emotional trouble and the suicide prevention center and when those, by the grace of God were not able or available to help me I contacted Al-Anon and found a live voice and a loving person kept me on the phone and told me not to hang up because my very life depended on it and she was right because I have my very life still. So my suggestion could only be to call the Al-Anon hotline to find out the times and places we get to gether in your area and come sit and listen and learn to practice what we have found out is the solution to all of our misery. You can always join a gym and change the color of your hair and how many times can you get your life and sanity and serenity saved. Keep coming back cause this works when you work it. (((((hugs)))))
I refuse to let this keep me down. I'm only 24, and I have already missed out on so much that life has had to offer. No matter what happens, I choose to remain positive!