Hello Friends and Happy New Year!

I hope all of you had a nice holiday.  I enjoyed my kids and my family as well as my week vacation.  My "a" tried to behave himself, but slipped at my mom's Christmas day.  He got pretty drunk but thankfully all the other relatives had left and all the kids were asleep.  My brother finally witnessed how beligerent he can become when he's drinking.  Both of us gently let him know how confrontational he was that night.  He dismissed it in front of us, but I think he knew he was too emotional due to the drinking.  My mood with him has been very quiet and resentful through out the week.  He lost his job the day before New year's eve.  As usual he said it was not his fault, one of the supervisors just didn't like him and decided to single him out this day.  He down played the fact that he became angry and confrontational with her because he was not given his holiday pay.  Basically he has had words with this person before, and she had enough.  He verbally said that his problem with keeping a job is usually his mouth.  I had really had my limit and basically let him know that I have lost respect for him because in the four years we have been together he has not been able to hold a job for more than three months, and I know for a fact that he has been this way his whole life.  I know he will not change until something happens in his life to show him his faults. 

Of course he came up with a plan of how he was going to handle this and get another job as well as sign up for school, but already he has agreed to begin working with one of his friends on a third shift job with the same agency.  He says his plan is to  look for the jobs he really wants during the day.  I will be suprised if he sticks to his plan.    I'm just spending more time focusing on myself and working through the fear of being a single mother.  It's not just being a single mother, but a single mother in my thirties when I would like to be with a person of substance and someone I look up to and respect. 

One good piece of news for the New Year is that my boys were cleared of having any positive results of cancer, Leukemia, HIV, and there TB tests also came back negative.  My son's lymph node has gone back down since our last visit.  The doctor did not mention anymore tests and wants us to continue the same treatment and monthly monitoring.  This was a huge weight lifted off our hearts yesterday; which made for a good day and evening.  Thank you to all of you who have responded in concern and prayer.    I'm looking forward to more good things happening this year. 

Your friend in recovery

Twinmom~