The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hello, I'm new here to this board and I wanted to introduce myself. I've dealt with alcoholism with my AB who is currently sober 4 years. The Active A in my house is my mom although she won't admit she has a problem and it tears me up inside to see her like this!! At times I want to punch a wall and scream and other times I want to cry! It's frustrating and saddening at the same time. I know I can't control her drinking, I didn't cause it...I can't think of the third 'c'.... I know the first step is to admit that you have a problem
I know you have to first admit that you are powerless over alcohol and she has yet to do that...if she could do that...it would be huge!! Also my AM is a psychiatric nurse who doesn't want to talk to a therapist or take anti depressents. what can I do to help her? I'm scared to think of what will happen if she doesn't get help....
Step one is to admit that WE are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable.
In the Al-Anon context of this step, that means that we - the friends and family of someone with a drinking problem - finally admit that we cannot control alcohol and what it is doing to our loved ones, no matter how much we would like to control it.
In this same step, we also recognize that our lives have become unmanageable due to our trying to control alcohol. Unmanageability can be recognized as stress, hurt or pain we may feel when we see our best intentions for our loved ones fail time and again. We beg, plead, threaten, bribe, coerce and manipulate to try to get our loved one to stop making the destructive choice to drink and it never works - or sometimes it does work but we feel bad about ourselves in how we forced our will on our loved one... and often even if it does work, it only works temporarily. The alcoholic eventually goes back to drinking and then we feel let down once more.
I would encourage you to get to some face-to-face Al-Anon meetings as soon as possible. I'm not sure how old you are - if you are a teen, there are also Alateen meetings, too, where you can meet with other teens and work the Al-Anon program. Either way you will be lovingly welcomed.
In the meantime, you can also purchase Al-Anon literature. If you're really interested in Al-Anon's twelve steps, I would suggest getting a copy of How Al-Anon Works, and also Paths to Recovery. You can order them online - find the books here at this web site or through ebay or Amazon, or you can stop by one of your local meetings and they will most likely have copies of this literature you can purchase direct from them.
Thank you so much for reaching out. Keep coming back. Read the posts here and attend the online meetings in the meantime before you get to your first face-to-face meeting.
Aloha, Thank you for explaining the first step in such detail. It was very very helpful!! I'm hoping to within the next week or so go to my first face to face meeting. In the meantime, I've ordered books and plan on reading them. I'm 28.
