The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ive stayed for 13 yrs..we have one child. My ah is a most the time functioning active ah. If youve ever read my posts you know I seem to live from crisis to crisis. Im trying to work with alanon tools and an online sponsor but I get so messed up in my reacting. I lose sleep, have hbp, anxiety.....theres much about my husb I love and enjoy. The ah is another story. Im trying to find sanity. Im trying to find tools. I know there are no straight ans...i know he may never change...i just know I still live with him...im not ready to leave...maybe I should be but I stay. Id love to hear from moms/wives who are in a similar place. I need to feel connected I guess. Thanks
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When all else fails...there is Faith, Hope and Prayer.
I too have stayed. We have been together almost 36 years and married 33. My husband started drinking about 7+ years ago when he had an early retirement at his company. He did not want to go but he had no choice. He was able to retire, which was good, but a lot of his identity was in his job. I noticed a change within a few months. He got his first DUI 7 years ago and his second 13 months later. He went to AA for a while but that was it. I started Al-Anon face to face meetings 7 years ago and even went to some AA meetings, listened to speakers, and combined meetings. I went on and off for a few years and it was good. I felt secure and calm going to the meetings. I found this site a month or so ago and have started back going to the face to face meetings a couple of weeks ago. I don't feel alone and if I can get one little thing out of the online meeting or the face to face it is a real bonus. I also read as much as I can. A couple of weeks ago I went to Youtube and found all sorts of stuff on al-Anon, denial, alcoholism, co-dependency, etc. It was very interesting to say the least. I too love my husband very much and it is so hard to deal with. You never know from day to day what will happen, but if you educate yourself on the disease and take care of you it helps. Keep in touch and take care, Jenny
I've stayed, but many days I think I'm pretty much done. It's not even about the drinking anymore, it's about the lies and the fallout from his behavior and broken promises. I sometimes think there's only so much I can take. Al Anon keeps me sane. I know that I don't have to make any decisions today and that I can pray and wait on my HP. I'm a mom, too, and it is one of the reasons I stay. I think it's a control thing. I don't want to turn any time over to my AH if he's still drinking with child visitation because I can't trust his actions these days. I keep thinking I can hang in there one more month, one more week, one more day, etc. And, so far, I have do just that. I just hang on by a thread and use my program to keep me sane.
This posting really struck a cord with me. I just found this message board tonight and have been reading posts trying to figure out if I should share my story, which I think I will after this. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am a mom to 3 kids (10 and under) and I feel stuck, mainly because as ilovedogs put it, I don't trust him to be sober during child visitations. When he is sober, I do love him, but I honestly don't think I'm "in love" with him anymore. We've been married almost 12 years and have had issues from the start. But when it's good, it's really good. But when it's bad..... I too am hanging on by a very thin and frayed thread!
