I stepped back from my, "getting divorced from the A wife manfriend." I didn't know what made me at the time. It hit me though, he has been so codependant, and was slipping right back into it. He is so sick and so blinded by her disease.

I started feeling sick, frustrated, angery. Then realized her disease and their ex dil's disease were affecting me too!

So I called him and layed it out. Told him you may get mad, but as your best friend I am going to tell you what I see. Pointed out several truths,hard ones to hear. I said done, he says to me, you are right, I respect you all the more. Said no one else would tell him the truth, I said oh becuz they are afraid of you? He said well maybe afraid, and they want something from me. ? He has money. Said he was so glad I don't blow smoke up his uno. I had to think about that one as I was not sure what it meant....

Next thing I know he is back on program, and setting down rules, and goals. He told me what he will say, i told him if it sounded like he meant it. It has to do with he wants to control everything, because he wants thing right, perfect. He is super intelligent, this works for his career but not with your kids and others.

He is doing to the point that he is sick, losing weight and I am backing off. I sure do not need to be pulled into this bolony.

Now he is more himself again, its good. He needed to relapse to see it. Was hard for me to risk his reaction,but I am a firm believe in To Thine Own Self Be True. He was not being true to himself and wondering what made him not know who he was anymore.

Three times in an email he mentioned death. this marriage is killing me, meaning the divorce is not going fast enough. If things don't stop hitting me all at once I am going to have a heart attack. and something else, can't remember. I asked him to go back and read the email he sent me.

Someone here posted a great paragragh on codependancy that was a mirror for him, I sent him that.

I changed my mind again. He is spiritually free in HP's eyes. Its only on paper. It is past time we needed to meet. A relationship  is a growing thing, it won't work unless you allow it to go thru what it needs to. I told him once this one thing that is settled is done, we need to meet face to face or it is not going to happen. Was it easy to say, no. Was it right, yes. I refuse to go thru this frustration and limbo any longer.

I have seen him at his worst, possibly. still love him, respect him and want to continue. Today he was texting me all day cuz I sorta was food poisoned and felt bad. He has this way of trying to make me feel better. sometimes you just want to slug him....lol

It sure is a strange disease, like it has tentacles who have tentacles who have tentacles spitting out poison allll around. I told him well I must really love you cuz I will not blow smoke up your a, and ya know for sure I don't want anything from you cuz I don't care if you are mad at me when I tell ya when you are being an idiot!

Well I like taking risks now......Al Anon still teaches me on my path how to be the person I want to be when I grow up!