The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So glad you found us and had the courage to share. This disease is so very heart breaking . Since we are powerless over alcoholism it makes sense for those living with it to seek a recovery program of their own.
So sorry you were not comfortable at the face to face alanon meeting. It is here that I felt so supported, understood, welcomed and safe. The meetings taught me how to live one day at a time focused on myself with the aid of my Higher Power.
It is important to break the isolation--- Why not try our on line meetings.
Here is the information ABOUT the ONE THAT that starts at 9 PM tonight
'Meeting scheduled in the al-anon chat room. Topics are: "Anger/Resentment",
"Dealing with Loss" and "Living in the Present". The web site link to the
group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are
other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server
we are on is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add to
their IRC server list, and our room name (#alanonchat) to their IRC channels.
All arel welcome
-- Edited by hotrod on Sunday 10th of March 2013 12:08:46 AM
Hello, I am just heartsick tonight and want someone to hear it because I don't know what to do with all of my emotional pain. My thirty year relationship with my AH is in a spiral because of repeated relapses he has had with his disease. We have had long periods of sobriety followed by relapses every few years, to a year to a few months. Every relapse that I am aware of has higher and higher stakes consequences. Once, his drinking led to a suicide attempt. A year ago, he got his first dui. This week, he got his second dui. He is very high functioning in his life, but that is quickly slipping away and his disease is progressing. I still love him. I think he still loves me, but the pain we are both going through is debilitating. My greatest source of pain is the fact that we have a young teenage son together, and my son will have his heart broken over this as well. He has never seen his father actively drinking and is unaware of the DUI's. I am so dependent on my AH I don't know if I can detach. I don't understand how love is possible with detachment. I can't find my higher power. I have very little in the way of a support system. It is very, very difficult for me to ask for help from strangers. I have been to a few ftf Al-anon meetings but they are so painful for me emotionally and it is so daunting to face the statistical reality of this disease. Thank you for reading this and for letting me post here, if only to get my pain out for a few moments until I can figure out what to do next. I want to believe there is still hope, yet sometimes the hope is what hurts the most, when it is just crushed over and over again.
Aloha and I'm adding my welcome to MIP along with Betty's I relate to where you are at and what you are feeling because that is a normal consequence for a relationship with an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a progresssive disease and so without arrest by total abstinence it will get worse. One of the things I had to learn was how to live in the present...not going back into the past and digging up old resentments and dragging them into my today and not time traveling into the future with my crystal ball with predictions of doom and gloom. As I sat in the face to face meetings of Al-Anon I had lots and lots reasons to hope which brought on the peace of mind and serenity for me. At first I had negative perceptions of the program and that was because that is the paradigm I was stuck in. Life sucked period!! ever facet and corner sucked and I wouldn't let anyone tell me any different. Of course I was wrong and my habit was stuck on bad. I was wrong and if you continue to keep coming back here and still going to face to face meetings you will find the miracles so very many others haved whether their alcoholic is still drinking or not. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
I just joined a few days ago myself due to a very similar situation. I watched my family die from alchoholism and am now living with a "dry" alcoholic who does not attend AA . I also find it very difficult to deal with the issues and abuse that come along with the disease also my work situation is similar except that it is an extremely negative place and no matter where i go i'm a punching bag for everyone.
I'm also feeling very hopeless with the situation.
until I can figure out what to donext" stuck out for me and I can feel your isolation. The posts you received were filled with wisdom; what I hope you hear is that you do not have to figure anything out alone, unless you want to. It sounds like the face to face al anon meetings were painful for you, but you have to experience the pain to get to the other side. We will hold you up through this horribly difficult time. I know the feeling of isolation and wanting to hide out in meetings, with family, friends and co-workers because of shame, pride, etc. I imagined that the humilation would be much worse than it was. My hell of isolation that I created was alot worse than my shame, pride or humiliation. Now that I am on the other side, I can say it was worth every bit of pain I experienced digging around in my muck. My hope also kept getting crushed until I finally saw that my expectations of my addict hubbie were crazier than he was! My sponsor kept saying pigeons do what pigeons do (in reference to my husband). I also saw some pigeon behavior in me. Don't let your sabotaging voices within you keep you from finding healthy, supportive environments. For me, this forum and al anon meetings have been true gold. I had to attend several meetings before I found a few that I liked...funny though, I went back to those very same meetings after a few years of recovery work and they were great, so the problem was little 'ol me and my pride Keep in touch with us. hugs and peace
Keep in touch with us. hugs and peace