The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Tracy you are correct alanon WSO supports face to face meetings Although we are not an alanon approved site we do attempt to suggest alanon tools. I agree that for those who are home bound and people with no access to face to face meetings on line meetings are fantastic. For others who have access I believe face to face meetings are more supportive and promote recovery in a different manner
I would like to add that I found that on line meetings are a great supplement to recovery.We have several here at MIP 2x a day however face to face meetings gave me the connection that I did not find on line,
I needed to break the self imposed isolation of my home and the internet . I had to have the courage to venture out into the world into a safe environment so I could learn, once again to interact with the world in a positive constructive manner. Alanon was the place. It was actually in Alanon Face to Face meetings where I learned how to use my alnaon tools of:
Say what I mean , mean what I say and not say it mean. I also learned to validate myself verbally, share my ideas at business meetings even if the group voted the idea down,- share from my heart and not my head, treat people with kindness, allow others to have an opinion not like my own, not gossip or judge or critique anyone I practiced, practiced, practiced at face to face meetings, it worked there so I had the courage to take it out into the world. It was powerful in the world as well
The spiritual connection at a face to face meeting counts
-- Edited by hotrod on Friday 8th of March 2013 08:24:49 PM
There seems to be a huge prejudice with online meetings. I know al-anon recommends f2f meetings as the best for various reasons. The fact though is not everyone can access f2f meetings for various reasons though eg geographical, transportation, health. One fellow I chatted with couldn't venture outside much as he had lung cancer, was wheelchair bound and,having to wear a mask constantly for oxygen. He was only in his early 40s. The meetings were his lifeline to the outside world and his sanity. A great number of people have been helped by them. What is the problem of offering them to newcomers as an option? I know of a teenage girk who has taken part in f2f alateen meetings for 3 yrs. In this past week she started online meetings and has learned more about the steps during those meetings then in the last 3 yrs. We are now in the digital age. Alanon was set up way before computers were even thought of. I find it hard to believe that Bill and Lois would have not used this wonderful tool to help as many people as possible. They were such giving people. Ideally yes everyone should go to f2f meets but in the real world it's just not possible.
Hopefully this letter will be allowed to stay up and be discussed.
Tracey
hi tracy, i agree everything helps and online meetings must be a lifesaver for some people. im on a different time zone so i cant come often. i have not heard much talk of the meetings being put down. i think there is a place for everything in this program.x
One of the dangers I run into with my al-anon-ism is a nasty habit of isolating. I hear and recognize that this issue is not unique to myself -- a very large percentage of us isolate. We like to stay safely cocooned in our little bubbles and not venture out into unfamiliar territory, and face-to-face meetings are a scary thing to think about stepping into. It's so much easier to just sit behind a computer monitor and keyboard, be TOTALLY anonymous and just say whatever we want to say.
However, as part of my personal recovery, it is very important for me to get out there and face the world - take that risk to get face-to-face with other people and learn that I can safely share with them and practice recovery in real time and in person, and even make some great friends in the process. For me, growth and progress occurs when I take calculated risks, and as an isolator, face-to-face meetings are indeed calculated risks - EVERY time.
The thing about being face-to-face, as well, is that there is a measure of accountability to it beyond what can occur online. I can have a habit, if sticking to an online-only format, of just blurting out something maybe I wouldn't say in person - or feeling like "eh.. no one knows me so I'll just say what I want." (Of course, even on here I am still accountable because Jerry knows who I am in person! haha)
I understand fully that there are some situations where getting to a face-to-face meeting is just not possible and online meetings are absolutely fantastic for that. I am very grateful for the thousands of seeds MIP has planted for folks getting into recovery. I think it plays a very important role.
That said, because I know I personally have the ability to get out to face-to-face meetings, I make that choice for myself to get out there and attend those instead of sticking to online only. MIP is a great between-meetings and between-sponsor-calls place for me to step in and participate in Al-Anon, but it will always remain as such for me and will never be a replacement for face-to-face interaction.
I know I've just basically shut down, I'm not going out with my friends or doing things I use to enjoy I'm just isolating myself from the world. My AD illness has just devastated me and normally I'm a very out going person. Slowly with baby steps and with the help of this board I'm making progress and reaching out, one day soon I will venture out to a f2f meeting.
__________________
Nothing is more fatiguing than the eternal hanging-on of an unfinished task.
Sorry I haven't answered as I've been a bit crook.
El-cee, when I mentioned at a f2f meeting that I was taking part in online meetings they were put down. They were never spoken about unless I brought it up. We had an older couple come along, in their 60's - 70's about their son. They had to drive over an hour at night time. One night they mentioned it was a long way to travel. After the meeting I spoke to the wife about online meetings and gave her the address. She was so thankful. Over here it can be a hazard traveling of a night time in the bush. We have kangaroos that jump across the road without any warning. As far as I know they made it home ok. If I hadn't brought it up though, they wouldn't have known. What I've found though, is that it seems to be the older members who have been going for a while, who have trouble embracing technology. They seem to want to keep it how it was when it first started, which is a shame. I really think Bill and Lois would have used any means possible to reach people.
As for the spiritual connection I haven't heard of anyone saying that they haven't felt it. If anything, it's the opposite. I recall a letter that Debilyn shared with me once, about the closeness that the members here share with each other. They were willing to travel cross country in order to help each other. I guess that's the beauty of spirituality is it knows no bounds. It can't be contained in any one area.
Really I think it comes down to the individual and what their actual needs are at that time. Just like what Angelic shared, at this point in time coming on here suits her. She's still learning and is gradually making progress and one day she'll be able to attend a f2f meeting.
I guess just like HotRod said there is a place for both. It's up to the individual of which they prefer.
