The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Have to share something with you my dear MIP family...hopefully it will offer strength and hope to those who are hurting.
I've never been one who is good with confrontations - especially when they are unexpected. So when I got a call earlier this evening from my STBXAH from rehab, I knew something was up because while he calls me daily, he doesn't usually call that early.
I thought long and hard before I took the call. Took several deep breaths. Prepped myself. Said my quick prayer I've created to my HP: "please place me where I'm supposed to be and protect me while I'm there". PS thanks Jerry for the help on that prayer :)
He started lighting into me about things that have happened over the last couple days (not my fault, of course). He accused me of things that I had - and hadn't - done. I told him the truth on what I did and told him it was because I will not lie, hide or decieve anymore. I told him that I didn't appreciate him accusing me of the things that were falsehoods and want it to stop.
He accused me of cancelling his email account. I told him that I was too busy working at my job and taking care of myself to worry about his issues.
Here's the funny thing...he and his mistress connected online and communicated via email and text. From the "if they do it with you, they'll do it to you" department - I can't help but wonder if she did it and tried to blame me. Ain't gonna happen, crazy-mistress-woman! :)
I asked him why I haven't seen the divorce papers yet. My BS detector starting flashing red and screaming sirens went off in my head when he said the attorney hasn't seen them yet. I told him that if was uncomfortable with something in the papers we should just talk about it now because I want to get it over with. He seemed surprised that I was so adamant about my decision, but agreed the fewer lawyers we had to get involved, the better.
We ended the conversation pleasantly enough - very cordially even though I could still hear in his voice that he was fired up. And I am giving myself major kudos for handling this situation so well. I'm learning, HP! Thank you for helping me with this lifelong challenge that has burdened me!
I am gathering my strength and power back. This song helps me; and I can't wait to see Carrie in concert! Hope it helps you, too.
Put that in the Positive file and remember how and what you did for later events with and/or without him. Good work...I like the adaptation on the prayer and will practice that myself. Mahalo ((((hugs))))
