The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Quick little post before I go to work. My oldest son was hit with a virus. I have it now, was up all night with a fever. My house looks like a tornado ran through it. I will clean it when I start to feel better. My AH has broke his own record being sober more than 75 days, yesterday he said he had to get to his meeting early because he was having bad stinkin thinking and the devil was trying to get him. When he came home I was passed out on the couch because after pushing myself to go to work and all the extra stuff the kids do I am exhausted. I don't look for trouble anymore...when I went to the store this morning I couldn't help but notcie all the little jiggers of sailor jerry my husband used to bring home littered all over the next street...I had a breif moment of...hmm, could that be his? even if it was his garbage I have to focus on me feeling better. Guess what, he texted me from work that his throat was killing him and can't even swallow. I will no longer let his addiction make me sicker than I allready am. I have told him and he knows that if he starts to drink inside the house I will take the kids to either my parents or his his parents house or anywhere for that matter...We don't need to watch a grown man kill himself slowly. I am however very keen to his pity parties. Poor me I work hard all day, pay all the bills and yada yada...so life isn't that bad. He's right ya know...Life isn't that bad when you have tools to help you take care of you. I pray that everyone has a blessed day...I will say the serenity pray all day to keep me focused in the right direction. I can't wait in fear for the shoe to drop...today, I take care of me.
We are all struggling to make sense of this devastating disease. So we know when things like this continue to happen, how much hurt we continue to have.
You are doing the right thing by focusing on yourself because it's really the only thing you can do.
I'm suffering for my son right now and I keep telling myself why? why? am I doing this. Will it help him in any way shape or form?. Well with what I have learned and what I practice it gets less and less everyday. 4 months ago I would be in a mental ward by now but with help from Al-anon and people I can reduce that suffering and hurt more everyday. I can smile and enjoy the little things.
I will continue to learn and practice for the rest of my life. I too can have a good life whether he drinks or not.
Glad your here....MIP is the best
Cathy
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thanks guys...Hot rod, you always have the best ESH for people...and Cathyinaz...I read all your posts, and want you to know, I think of you and pray for you often. I love this family I found here. Even if I don't get as much time for myself as I would like...I know there are people on this board that don't judge and just want to help each other...Thanks.
