The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is a painful difficult road and I am glad you found alanon . which is a WE program. I too was a never lean on anyone person who pretended all was well until I hit my emotional bottom. It was then I crawled into alanon, because I had no where else to go and decided to work this program as if my life depended on it.
Sponsor, Steps, Slogans, Daily Readings, Meetings, alanon telephone calls all helped me to develop tools that I needed to be able to reach out and share my life with others. When I heard "We are as sick as our secrets" it really hit home. I did my 4th step and placed my denial and pretend on top of my the list of defects.
Be gentle with yourself, you are human, HP is walking with you and remember one day at a time we can do this Let go of yesterday and refuse to project into tomorrow
-- Edited by hotrod on Wednesday 6th of March 2013 03:48:28 PM
lately im feeling very detached from myself, if that makes sense. my home life seems to go from bad to worse and i am wondering if everyone has a breaking point? im managing to keep going and put a brave face on but its a lie. i dont feel brave or normal. im wondering if i have a limit before i lose my mind. i want to go to bed and stay there for a few weeks. i think depression may be setting in.
Do you have a sponsor?? When I get to that point I try and be really gentle with myself. For me it's the HALT sometimes it's HHALT (hormonal, hungry, angry, lonely, tired) I just really need to make sure I'm taking care of myself during the most stressful times. It's something I need to do all the time. During those times especially, it helps me get through the next moment. I also work on remembering I have permission to start my day over any time I choose. Hugs p :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks, I don't mean to sound so dramatic. I do have a sponsor, I should speak to her, it's just I'm ashamed to say things to her. I think I've lived a secret life for so long that it's hard to voice what's going on in my life. I think I need to work my steps.x
Oh, boy do I know this feeling! I was at my lowest point a few weeks ago (feeling that if the depression didn't let up they were going to stick me in a loony bin) and I started reading "Getting them Sober". It helped me so much!! I never knew that a "self help" book could be so powerful. I've heard people say that but I have now experienced it for myself. I have the power to change ME and that is what I am going to do. My ups and downs don't have to be controlled by whether or not my AH is sober, drinking, or drunk. I can be happy all on my own :)
I posted earlier but I decided to delete it because I felt it was over the top.
I have been where you are many times. But I find if I do a lot of reading and writing in my journal I do much better. I also have to get out and get some sun. That helps me so so much.
With the help of others I can usually work my way through it....and now a lot faster because of my program. I have learned so much and I'm loving every minute of it. Yes we still have our bad days but it we can overcome them...if we don't isolate.
Jerry gave me a way to let go: Quote: Turn your palms upward and lift them above you and imagine your HP taking him from your palms and then bring your palms down empty and go on. Not only do I use this with my son I use it with whatever problem or worry I have. I give it to my HP
Take care my friend...I wish I could fly over there and just give you a great big hug :)
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
Thank you everyone, I think I needed a little bit of reassurance. Hotrod, you are right about the doing things alone, if I'm honest I have felt a little like a victim and a martyr, I need to really use my program, I've been slipping. Cathy, I read your other post and I think you just truly know how I feel and thank you for being there.
I have read volume 4, I think I bought the wrong one.lol
It doesn't sound like self-pity as much as being overwhelmed. We all get that way but it's time to reconnect spiritually and plow through whatever you need to in order to get to the other side. Your HP can pull you through this if you keep reaching out to him/her/it and that does involve letting your HP work through Alanon, peers in alanon, the steps, and your sponsor. Part of recovery does involve getting to points of your life when you go "This really sucks" and then you surrender your old ways even more and start changing even though it's painful. You will get there cuz you have the tools right in front of you.
Yes, I have felt a bit overwhelmed lately. My son is on his own now and its hard to live a normal life and act as if all is ok. I have not leaned on my program the way I should but the hope is not gone and its comforting to know I have these tools at my disposal.x
