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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> little more
Post Info TOPIC: little more
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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little more
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The day before I was goofin in Goodwill. This guy was looking and started talking. I made quick answers and moved on. so did he. Later was teasing to put his stuff in my cart. Was a freaking pest, probably thought he was cute. geez.
 
I have gone down 3 sizes now. Wearing a bit of makeup, looks natural, doing my hair. Honestly finding me again and liking her. But I am not comfortable with  mens reactions. why is that?
 
Hid in the mountains, basically hide here at Eden. I am old for petest sake,though my hair is still brown with very little grey. turned 60 on Feb 28th.
 
I smile lots and laugh, just is me. Men open doors for me, are so polite.
 
I was more comfy being invisible I think.
 
My guy is in a very selfish mode. The marriage is completely over. Meaning they are talking how to divide stuff and he is telling her how finances will go. She will never have to worry. But sadly we all know what an A does with lots of money. Her choice.
 
This mode is very hard on me. I understand, however, not even giving his sons the right attention is not good. But then u cannot make a broken arm work.
So I am seeing a side of him that is him. Made some excuse about I am so busy and deadlines and blah blah I said yes yes I understand, however you take potty breaks, send a text that says, I hope you are ok. it will get better. or an  I l u.
 
He says well I do think of you.My friends cow died, left a newborn calf. I was thinking how 'deb would be right on that raising that orphan.
 
Oh nice, he was told about a cow and thought of me....lovely.  hehe hugs you guys. I have a monster headache. doing dishes, getting ready to mop. someone is coming to look at pasture for two older geldings. so cool. trade for them getting these piles of junk out of here.
 
Me? I have one more size to go down to where I feel healthy and me again. HP is helping me so much. I need to give somewhere around here. Looking for the challenged people rehab to volunteer. I LOVE those people.
 
I wish I would have said to that guy, you know a guy who is sober is so much more attractive. Not that it would have mattered. Other than knowing he was a murderer, he was sooo interesting. I honestly loved listening. but not in a bus...stuck. And You know what is funny, I knew darn well if something bad happened, he would be the first one to help others, and not run away like most would.
 
trippy. I can see what makes women attracted to men like that. screaming testosterone....
 
Hope you all find some serenity today.
and hey here are some pics. My four new hens who are so cool, plus the gal had six week old baby farm pigs ginnys! heaven here. um there is Henry munch my very loved sulcatta who will be between 300-400 pounds some day and is willed to my son.
And some dog pics......
 
hugs


__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Temple


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Debilyn,
You crack me up. It was a little scary reading it, too. But I assumed if the occasion had called for it, you'd have been able to summon superhuman strength and punch his lights out.
When/if you become a lady of leisure, would you please to write your memoirs? I'd buy the book, for sure!
Congratulations on getting all slender and girly.
My mother was very beautiful, had a lovely smile and oh yes--was bosomy. Very ladylike. She had admirers well up into her 80s--by that time they were all a lot younger than she.
She wouldn't have lost them, but we had to move her into an Assisted Living place in another state, when we moved.
So it isn't going to go away. You just have to get used to it.
And Helen Gurley Brown said back in the 60s that there is nothing makes a woman more attractive to a man than being in love with somebody else.

Hugs,
Temple

__________________

It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
Cathyinaz


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All I can say it's flattering when we get attention. I know I love it. But I always remember to just move on because most are a come on. At my age I know the score with most encounters. lol....

Hugs


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 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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temple thank you. haha yea slender everywhere but my tummy...dang it., I Look at women my age and most do have that! I just diguise it some with well fitting and just a tiny loose, not moo moo.

I am reading the book," Manual" so good., He is a cool guy saying what guys like and don't and also he openly admits when guys are jerks.

Temple its more health, and my heart being ok,. loved the mom story, how precious!

You now you think like me. I thought about here I am the only



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3653
Date:
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Cathy I say flattering in a very uncomfortable yet way. I have kept myself away from men. I don't like the attention. I am working on being polite and not being afraid.

After my ex AH went insane on me, I lost about any safeness I ever felt about men. I Never really liked their attention when they did not know me.

It was nice to vent here and listen to what I did wrong or how I could have been different. I woke up still upset.

I have no idea why someone took it off, I am asking for clarification. It was true, it was scarey and I needed to know something. do I go back into hiding?

I still feel like crying. I sure did not ask him to sit by me. I had no idea how to say no. sometimes I am really a country mouse in the city. I maybe sound strong, which if I have to be I am, however I am very ignorant in situations when it comes to men.

I KNOW what and how they think, have researched it lots and asked lots of questions. I still do. Reading the Manual right now. He is so good at explaining.

If I cannot even get feedback here where do I get it.

Made a point to, how had he not smelled like alcohol, his brazenness, smile, humor and manners were very attractive. thus how we get caught up with a's. I am going to go out and do what I find safe, put some t posts in, in my overalls.   love!



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Cathyinaz


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 3026
Date:
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Debilyn

I'm getting older so when there is some sort of attention I have to admit I'm flattered. I never encourage it but it just happens sometimes. I smile, if talked too I might say something, be nice, say goodbye and move on.

You don't need to worry or cry about anyone sitting by you or talking to you or saying something nice or even just being a pain. When the situation happens you deal with it. You can be nice...you can get up and move...you can say leave me alone.....or you sit and have a nice talk with a nice person just wanting conversation on a bus.


Love!

__________________

 Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth

Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.

 
Temple


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 971
Date:
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Debilyn,
I think someone got confused. You had a blank post up and had tried to erase that, and somebody must have thought you wanted your first post about the encounter on the bus erased. That's what I think happened. Not that you were being censored.

I apologize, because I took this all too lightly. Now I see it is more than being uncomfortable with unwanted male attention, it is heart-pounding fear from being viciously attacked by a man, your alcoholic husband, transferred to other males when you get triggered.
I hope you can get some therapy. It is so understandable, and it limits your ability to feel safe in the world.
And the man was stepping across all kinds of boundary lines. He had no right to touch you. Sociopaths can be so charning, and he was so sure of himself he was behaving in a most inappropriate way and of course you picked up on all of that. And the menace.
Trust your instincts, take care of yourself. If you feel that you are isolating, I am sure you and God can work out what to do.
And I am sorry I didn't think about things from your perspective.

Blessings,
Temple

__________________

It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread.  --Gray Charles

 
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