I Posted this on a page where over 300+ of my Friends are... I Posted it after I lost my Last Friend to Addiction, Please feel free to add your Esh, thoughts, what ever you like... Thanks in Advance for Reading... its A Long one ;) As Always ;) Hope its Ok to Post it here... Thanks Guys :)

Yesterday, I had to go Lay to Rest another Dear Friend of Mine It kills me to see this happen over & over again Just seems like it is only getting worse I know that Death Happens, and Life is Here & then its Gone. But it seems that the more funerals I attend, The More I See Coming! I sat in the room full of people that Loved him! Watching so many just Numb Out! Eating Pills, or showing up Drunk, or Both! Or Worse!
 
It Makes me Ache inside knowing that so many Suffer from Addiction, and yet when someone they love passes they see that as an excuse or Reason to Fall back into their old ways, laying drunk, feeling sorry for their selves, (like they are the only ones at loss) and placing themselves and their family in for the Same Pain if their life does not mean more to them then pretending to exist within their own delusional Medicated Minds..
 
Yes Life Hurts, Life Sucks at times so Bad, I too dont want to get out of bed. But I Do! And when I see the Faces of those that Look up to me like my Son, My Grandkids, My Nieces & Nephews, My Friends Kids, Children as a Whole I Realize I Need to Do Better! Will My Life Choices affect All that I come in contact with NO But is it a Start for a better Chance for them as well as for myself? Absolutely!
 
I dont sit here and Speak in terms of Judgment of Condemnation.. That is Not My Place! Or Anyones for that Matter, I Speak up because I dont want to continue to Bury My Friends, I dont want to sit there in a room full of people that I care about, and one by one watch that room get smaller & smaller because no one wanted to find the Amazing Peace that comes with being Clean!
 
I say this because I too am a Product of Addiction, I too am an Alcoholic,(2yrs 4mths Sober).  I too have done So Many things I Cannot take back and I have to live with those choices.. Was it easy for me to stop Drinking Hell No It was a Choice I had to make for Myself, My Son, & My Family! But Mainly for Me & My continued life here on earth!
 
I believe that if the Good Lord Wants you, He takes you home, it doesnt matter if you are ready, or not! But what should matter, is what we all, as people leave behind! It Should Matter that your children, your grandchildren, your brothers & sister, your Parents, and everyone you love get the Best of You! Not the you that Checked Out on Drugs & Alcohol because Life got to tough!
 
I have Over Come Many of Obstacles in my life, and have a lot more to come, and Maybe there were not as Tragic as some others, BUT! I made a Choice to do All that I Can to be Here, In this World with My Son, & Grandkids Watch them Grow & start their own Lives, and I Pray I Can be here when they start to make families of their own And Help them as well with Turning into Mature, responsible Adults, instead of Passing them off on other people just so I can Numb out and make my pain stop for a second or two
 
Cause those Seconds or Two add up to Minutes..Then Minutes to days, then days to weeks, then weeks to Years! And then we Stop and look around and Our Kids are Grown, our Family is Gone! Our Kids have no Respect for us! Because We have No Respect for Ourselves
 
Saddened is all I can say! Im saddened by so many things that are beyond my Control, but at the same time, My Heart has no off switch And there isnt a Pill, Drink or Drug in the world that will EVER replace my Friends & Family that I have lost to Addiction or anything else! And when Im On any of those, I am showing my Loved ones No Respect when I Choose to Use their Loss as My Excuse to Party for the Past On! Because Im Betting If those ones that are departed were Here now! They would Love to Make Changes in them before they ended their Lives to soon, and be here with the ones that Love them instead of Being Just a Memory!
 
I Just Wish More would Reach Out! Drop your Pride, Show up at the Doors of Recovery, and see what is Inside! Because there is No One that is Living with addiction that is Alone in their Struggles... They only think they are because they are afraid of making that FIRST Step! The One that Says, I WANT to Change I Want to Live life, Not Exist in it, Can & Will Change! I want to Experience Life, Not hear of others dreams about it! I want to Dream Dreams and make them come true, I want to Make Memories, but more so I want to leave an Impression that Life is a Gift, and I Embraced it! And I Want that For All of You as well!
 
I Sat in Denial a Large Portion of my life, about who I was, and what My Worth was and I Can tell you! The More I was Beat Down, the More I Believed it! The More I was Talked about and Whispered about, the more I thought, there was No Hope for Someone Like Me! But since I Found Recovery I am Not the Person I Once thought I was Im Better! and Only by the Grace of God above am I still Here, Fighting & Clawing My way to make a life for Me, & My Family! There isnt a Day that goes by I dont talk to God on some level... Not to ask for the Things I Want & Need, but I ask that He Help all Find the Recovery that will bring them to a better place, a better Life, a better way of living for them and their Family's
 
Sometimes we sit so long, and WAIT out life thinking that something will change, yet we dont want to put out the energy to see that we are more worth it then we ever imagined To somebody, whether we believe it or not! To Somebody! We are the World!
 
What are Some Steps you can take One Day at a Time to get there? Find Recovery, Ask about Recovery, Seek Out Recovery, Spend times with your Kids, take them on a bike ride for some fresh air, or a Nice walk and quality time!!! Read them a Bed Time Story Let them Read you one! Show up at their Games, Smile at them from across the room, Hug them More, and Argue Less See them as they are, Children Dont make them slaves to your ways, dont yell Teach! Show them the Right thing to do, Dont try to Control, just be a Good Example And Slowly But Surely you will see a Change for the better in you!
 
The More we do of these things the More Our Good will shine thru. The More Our Own True Worth will Return and we can start living the life that was intended for us We all make choices everyday to either keep us where we are, or to move forward & Not Look back! The Choice is Yours, always has been, if your unhappy, Make a Change, and be Someone different, if you cant change being where you are! MOVE You are So Worth it! And though there are still, so Many I love traveling this road, if I see you, I dont want it to be with your Eyes Closed and everyone You Love Leaning over you with weeping eyes! I want to Celebrate You HERE, in Life, Not at a Bar after the fact Because to Me! You are Worth So Much More than just a Final Good Bye!

Thanks for Listening Friends.....

Love & Prayers to all

Jozie