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Welp...Tonight I have to go lay another Dear Friend to rest at 34... I'm not looking forward to it for he left behind his boy he had raised by himself Since an Infant, and he is but 8yrs old...
Seems the Pains of this Disease seem to get me alot here of late, this make (3) in 3 months from addictions, and frankly there is days i would Love to hide away so I didn't have to keep reliving all this loss, but I know God has a Plan, and I know its not of my understanding, but Boy I hope Someone, Somewhere, learns yet again from this loss... And Finds the Recovery they need!
All I Ask For is Prayers for this Young Man... The One I am Laying to rest & his Son we always called him Chubby because of his Cheeks :) This Mans Brothers have all rallied around his son, and pretty much ALL want him, So Please Pray he finds his best fit... And the Boys mom is a Heroin addict, and has never ever tried to see her son! All So Heart breaking...
Wanted to Share Something with you along this Spiritual path I have traveled with my belief's... I had a Gr. Granny that Study different beliefs and believed if you walked under a ladder you would have bad luck, broke a mirror same thing, but if a Bird (Who she believed to be a messenger) if one hit your Window and Died, then someone you love would pass within 3 days, and Most times its a Number of (3) People... but if it hit your window, and didn't die then someone you love was going to have a difficult time, but would recover from it!
WELP... I was not one that would dismiss it, but definitely had my doubts about some of things she would share with me as a Very Young Child... And for some reason, the "bird" has always been just that for me! A Messenger, and Wens. I am sitting in my Office, and sure enough a Bird Crashes into my window... I Go Out, and its still alive, I Gather him up, and Love on him some, and Try to give him a chance, but it he had broke his little Neck, So as I Sit Crying over my LIttle Friend, My Heart Can't help but Wonder, WHO I was Really Crying for! And Thurs. Morning I Get the Call... It was My Friend.. And if that wasn't bad enough, My Gram calls me Fri and tells me That her Best Friend has Past as well..(God Love her She was 92) And then an Acquaintance of my Husband & I's Past Friday as well from Cancer! So I Guess (3) was the Number indeed!
So... My Moment... Sunday I told my husband I wanted to Just Get away from the Phones, and the House for while, didn't care what we did, just didn't want it to be here! So we decided since a Storm was Pending we should prob go cut some wood for the week at Camp! So he & I Left, & Went to Camp! Well He was Walking around to see what was Dead & Needed Cut, and I Decided to hike up to a place on our property We call Gazebo knob :) It Over looks the Mountains & the River, and I Just love it there... Tho the wind was Pretty Strong, I Sat up there in my Tree Swing, and Just Thought about Our buddy. And all the Great Memory's we had together... And During a HUGE Wind Gust, In Flies this Little Bird. But Not Just ANY Bird, The Same Kind that Crashed into my Window!!! And I Started talking to it, (It was in the Tree in Front of me) and as I Sit there Crying, I Just Knew that Our Friend had Found Peace! And He was Allowing me to know... This Little Guy stuck around till I could think of Nothing but Happy Thoughts, and Of Course I Caught him a Time or Two on my Camera!
Well My Husband Also Cared for this Fellow because he worked for us for 3 years in the past... So When I Came back down to my husband, he wanted to hike down to the other end, of our property, and I Started to Tell him of my Moment with with our friend.. (He is a 1/2 Believer in my Spiritual Moments, I think he Wants to believe he just likes things more Black & White.. :)
So we Pause and I'm telling him, and I Smile and tell him to look up! And there just above our heads in not One, Not Two, BUT THREE of these Very Same Birds! Just Hanging Out Over our Head :) And I Truly believe they were Our (3) Friends all letting us know they made their Trip Home :)
So Today will be Tough Sending off my Friend, But I know I will see him again, Cause I know he is Safe in the Hands Of God, and is now the Angel above his Son Truly Needs!
I Hope that all makes sense ;) But its things like this that Keep So Many things ALIVE In Me :) And My Spirit being one of them! For that I am Forever Grateful to God... For Blessing me with a Gift to See All His Love, & Mine, when I take the Time to Slow Down & Appreciate even the Smallest things :)
Thanks for Walking this Journey with me, Thanks to you all for Openning up My Spirituality even more then it ever was before :) Al-Anon HAS Very Much Brought Me Peace... And All of you are a Part of that... So Thank You!
With Love & Prayers to all
Please Let the Ones you Love KNOW How much you Care for them, For You Never Know when your Last Goodbye will be!
