The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
While my kids are the immediate center of my world, I am starting to create more space in my world for me. Its a pretty cool feeling. Yesterday I spent the day with my sister. I painted her soon to be baby's bedroom as I am the painter in the family. We laughed, had lunch and really enjoyed some time together. It was really nice to just hang out with her, focus on new things and inpart some of the wisdom of an experienced mom to a new mother to be. My little sister is one of my best friends and I have lost that during my time with an alcoholic. We even found plans for a murphy bed frame that I am going to build for her to put in the spare bedroom.
Today I read a book, cleaned my house and spent time just hanging with myself. Power went out, so I napped. Something I need to do more often. Then, my 2nd oldest got another driving lesson and then passed his driving test today. Yippee!! Two teen drivers in the house. Gotta love what that will do to my insurance.
Tomorrow, I am going to spend time with an old friend that I have not spent much time with lately. She has been dealing with a lot of problems and we drifted apart as it was too much for me and mine was too much for her. Now, I am doing ok and she is starting to do better. I am going to spend the day painting again and paint a bedroom for her. Again my favorite hobby is going to be called upon and I get to spend time helping a friend while spending some time with her.
I am so excited that I am doing more things as far as getting out of the house and just enjoying life. Its nice to be around others and not even talk about the drama and problems with the soon to be ex husband. There are still times I struggle with being alone, especially at night. Then I just remind myself that even when I lived in the same house as my AH I went to bed alone, slept alone and was basically alone all the time. We lived in the same house and had no relationship at all. So now, I have friends and family back in my life and yes, I am alone, but I have more people in my life then I did before we seperated. I could not be happier with the decision I made. He is not interested in becoming sober or improving his life, so I am improving mine. Something I should have done a long time ago. Feels pretty darn good.
-- Edited by cinders on Monday 25th of February 2013 11:35:26 PM
Fantastic post and thanks for sharing. So happy for you to have reached this point in your life where you are totally aware of what you have been through and what a fabulous life is ahead of you ! Way to go!!!!
Now THAT is a post for all to read - an inspirational reminder to us all that it really does work, if we work it.... talk about great recovery for YOU!
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
That sounds awesome, Cinders. My sister is 8 years younger and we are good friends now, but we weren't when we were children as there was a whole generation between us. Thanks for sharing your new experiences and happiness in life!
I love how this program gives us back our lives and lets us re-acquaint ourselves with our own personal joys.
I feel very similar to you - when I finally decided a divorce was the right path for me, I was afraid at first about being alone, but then I realized that I had pretty much already been alone even when I was living with the A. Overall, it was just a huge relief to come home to a serene and quiet home instead of dreading and wondering what "mood" I'd be faced with when entering a house with an active A living inside.
It sounds like you've had some very wonderful days. Keep at it! And keep coming back and sharing your experience, strength and hope with the rest of us.
Awesome share Cinders! Really made me remember that I sometimes only remember the good times, but remembering the bad times is just as important. Not to dwell on them but to refresh the memory and make it what is really is, not what I wish it would be. Thank you for the gentle reminder.
Thank you
