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((wornoutmrsfixit))......its always darkest before dawn. Thankyou for reaching out and sharing, sometimes all I can do is get through the minutes hours etc. Acceptance comes before action. This to shall pass my friend. Always for me just before a breakthrough I feel like you described and then comes clarity, strength and renewed faith in the progarmme and my HP.
Hang on in there
Love
Simone x
-- Edited by Zimmy on Tuesday 26th of February 2013 02:55:17 AM
-- Edited by Zimmy on Tuesday 26th of February 2013 02:56:29 AM
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What a caterpiller calls the end of the world....God calls a butterfly
I am ready to file for divorce but I am so drained from my job and the emotional toll that I have been through that the thought of the extra work that is going to fall on my shoulders to make the sale of the house happen has me ready to just take my losses and walk away from everything. I have kept going through all of this mess and kept in pretty good spirits but I feel myself slipping downward. I am tired of being the responsible one that keeps everything going. I'm tired of trying to be a positive role model for our sons and show them the healthy way to try to react to their dad and all of the changes that his addiction has forced us to all go through. I'm tired of working myself to exhaustion to barely pay the bills and trying to be detached but still legally connected to an insane, hateful person who verbally abuses me almost every time he talks to me. I'm tired of seeing a man that was so successful, smart and loving stumbling around and having the mental aptitude of a 13 year old kid talking to his parents in a smart mouthed way. He shows me just enough progress that I get hooked into watching and waiting a little longer and then I realize what a mistake that is. I can't seem to get into a routine of cooking and going to my exercise classes because my job is requiring me to stay late most evenings so I have gained @15 pounds. I have gotten to the point where I am even sick of the people I love checking on me. Feel like I could just lock the door, turn off the phone and go to bed for about a week. I don't even have the desire or energy to pray - I've lost faith in that too.
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"Just being there for someone can sometimes bring hope when all seems hopeless." - Dave G. Llewellyn
Right now, you have summed up my whole life. It is so draining having an a in your life. Throw children into the mix and its a disaster. The part that I struggle to get over is the abandonment. How can he sink deeper into his own self pity and further from his kids who really need their father. I needed him to be a man too. I'm sorry I can't offer you any strength right now.x
I have been there and understand exactly how that feels Not being able or willing to pray confused me but I accepted it and knew that HP would be there for me even if I could not talk to him. Trust the program Live ODAT, try to rest, eat well and know that this too will pass.
I have been there as well with my A and know exactly what you mean. It's a struggle to keep up the appearances and keep all the balls in the air. This "funk" you are in will pass.
This is when you work the program the best you can each day, hour and minute at a time. Take care of yourself and remember this is temporary, it will pass. Your HP is always with you.
{{{{{{{{wornoutmrsfixit}}}}}}}} The quote from Winston Churchill comes to mind, "When you're going though hell keep going." We have to go through the mess to get to the relief. On this path you will learn lessons, find yourself once again, be liberated and find peace. I know things seem hopeless and I have been there with my A as well, but trust me, it won't always be this way. Pray, talk to your HP and know things ALWAYS work out, maybe not today or in the way you want them to, but they will work out. Take care of you now.
These situations feel helpless and hopeless the reality is you are not alone. What kind of support team do you have in place? I found when I reached out and I was scared to death to do so, there were people who loved and cared for me reaching back. I was so insistant I do everything myself. When I realized I didn't have to, I found great relief in moving forward.
I am so sorry you are going through all this it is not easy, this too shall pass.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Take things slow and easy and one minute at a time until you can make it an hour at a time until you can take it a day at a time. Same thing with decisions, make the ones you have to make as they come and don't look at the whole picture or project how things will go. You can borrow some of my strength, support and love for now. I can very much relate to your share, just keep doing the next right thing and taking care of you!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
